


Of Wolves and Women

by UnderTheMoonlitDay



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), The Wolves of Mercy Falls - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Humor, Werewolf Emma, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-22 11:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8284774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderTheMoonlitDay/pseuds/UnderTheMoonlitDay
Summary: Ever since getting bit by a stray dog, Emma hasn't been feeling the best. At first she thought it might be rabies, but now she's not so sure. Especially since that dog ended up being a wolf. Regina has noticed Emma's antsy behaviour. She hasn't paid it any mind, but now as winter approaches and Emma vanishes, Regina is forced to go looking for her.(AKA the story where Emma becomes a werewolf)





	1. Dog Catcher

It had started as an easy call. Emma and David had been debating getting a pizza at the station as the cold winter night dragged on without much action, when the phone had rang. David had answered it while Emma had continued pondering what kind of pizza she wanted and if she was willing to bribe one of the dwarves to deliver it. Storybrooke Pizza was so cheap.

 

“Hey, sheriff?” David called, teasing Emma with her title and a glint in his eyes. “Phone’s for you.”

 

“Forward it through to my phone,” she sighed. Her deputy smirked at her. 

 

“Or you could come get the phone from my hand?”

 

“It’s so far away!” She moaned. Secretly she just didn’t want to leave the blanket she had wrapped around her shoulders or the mug of hot cocoa with cinnamon that sat on her desk beside her sleeping computer. Her father shot her a look which had her rolling her eyes and shrugging off the blanket. “Fine. But you’re paying for the pizza now.”

 

He chuckled as she stretched and made her way over, then handed her the phone.

 

“Go for Sheriff Swan,” she sighed into the receiver.

 

“ _It’s about time, sister!_ ” came Grumpy’s loud voice through the phone. Emma jerked and held the phone out for a second.

 

“Good to hear your voice too, Leroy,” she said in a cheeky manner that earned her a grin from David who was digging through a phone book looking for the pizza number. Wifi in the station sucked. “What can I do for you tonight?”

 

Leroy, Storybrooke’s most notorious complainer, sounded pissed tonight. “ _Well maybe answering the phone when someone calls would be nice!_ ”

 

“Well David _did_ answer, didn’t he? Leroy, it’s late and we have a lot going on so—”

 

“ _Yeah yeah, I know. Listen, there’s a dog in a dumpster._ ”

 

“A dog? Really?” She frowned and grabbed her notepad, jotting down _Stray dog. Dumpster._ “Can you tell me where you are?”

 

“ _Outside the Rabbit Hole. It’s making a huge racket, hard to miss._ ”

 

Emma added that detail to her book. “Got it. I’ll be there in a sec.” She rolled her eyes at David. _Nothing better than chasing around a dog in subfreezing weather._

 

“ _Try to be a little faster getting here than answering the phone!_ ” Then he hung up. Emma grimaced and then set the phone down.

 

“Well, duty calls. I must go save a dog from a dumpster. Why me?”

 

“Because dogs like you. And I am busy buying pizza.”

 

“Yeah, get on that! I’ll be back soon.” She grabbed her warm black parka and her black beanie cap before looking out at the deserted street where a light dusting of snow was falling. She shuddered and grabbed her badge from the desk. David didn’t even look up as she left.

 

***

 

A block away from the Rabbit Hole, Emma could hear the dog. It was howling so loudly and mournfully that the air seemed to hang still around it. She gulped and nodded to herself, holding out her catch pole in front of her. Her breath ringed around her face like a wreath, reminding her of the cold as she walked towards the dumpster with the dog in it.

 

As soon as she was in sight of the ugly green box, the noise stopped. The sheriff froze as well, head tilting to the side as she waited to see what the dog would do. There was a thump and a scrabble as well as a whine, but both lids were down so the dog couldn’t escape.

 

“Hey in there,” Emma called as she got closer to the box. There was more frantic scrabbling and a growl. “It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m just here to let you out.”

 

She was standing beside the dumpster now, pole out and at the ready. She opened one of the heavy lids and peered inside. The dog had pressed itself to the opposite side of the dumpster. Even without good light, Emma could see that it was massive and had been trapped for awhile. The dumpster was half full, and the rank odour of garbage couldn't masked the scent of fear and piss that coated the area around the dog. Claw marks gouged massive hunks out of the plastic coating inside the dumpster and there was blood and fur everywhere.

 

“Are you even a dog?” She whispered to herself. The very wolflike dog stared back at her, unsure about her voice. It was bathed in a puddle of watery orange light, drifting in from a small crack in the corner of the creature’s prison. It’s eyes were huge and hazel in color— _do dogs have that color of eyes?—_ and it’s snout was long and curled in a snarl. It’s ears, short and pointed, were pressed flat against the top of it’s head and it panted in anxiety. 

 

“It’s okay, I’ll get you outta there. But first—” Emma broke off and pulled her phone out of her coat pocket. She stuck it in the crack she was peering through and snapped a quick picture. The flash went off and the wolf/dog creature yelped in panic and scratched frantically at the corner of the dumpster. Attaching the photo to a text message, she sent Henry a message and then forwarded it to David and then to Belle.

 

**EMMA: Is this a dog or a wolf? I need to know what I’m getting into. Thx.**

 

She fired it off to those three and while waiting for a response, tried to figure out how to get the canine out, and how it got in there in the first place. The lids were heavy and difficult to open, even for a human. The creature must’ve gotten in when one or both were open, and the wind probably took it, trapping it in there. It would’ve been a scramble, but as Emma peered closer at the dumpster she could see a tuft of grey-brown fur caught on a rusted bit of metal at the lip of the container, and claw marks scratching thin lines in the green paint of the outside. Her phone buzzed with two messages, one from David and one from Henry.

 

**DAVID: No idea. Could be mutt. I’m no good with dogs. Sorry. -D**

 

Emma scoffed and made a face at the phone—so much for the animal shelter geek to help—before she read Henry’s message.

 

**HENRY: Ugh. Was tryin 2 sleep, Ma. Crap pic btw, but looks like wolf 2 me. Gtg, Mom heard fone. Nite!**

 

This she smiled at. Knowing Henry was bound to be grounded if Regina caught him up, Emma fired another message off, this time to the Queen herself.

 

**EMMA: Be easy on the Kid. It was just me texting him. Trying to figure out what this creature is so I can work on my case. Sorry**

 

Almost immediately, another text came in. Instantly, Emma was filled with nerves at the thought that it could be Regina. From inside the dumpster the dog/wolf growled.

 

“Easy in there, you’ll be out in a jiffy once I figure out what you are.”

 

She glanced at her phone and saw that the text was just from Belle. The knot in her stomach subsided and Emma felt… Relieved? Disappointed?

 

**BELLE: That’s a wolf. How did it end up in the dumpster?**

 

**EMMA: No idea. Been trying to figure that out myself. Have you heard anything from Red?**

 

Ruby, Belle’s girlfriend, had been missing since the beginning of October. Granny wasn’t overly concerned, but Belle was frantically looking for her. Emma knew she shouldn’t be having this conversation, especially when there was a confirmed wolf— _two against one says it’s a wolf_ was her logic—in a dumpster beside her head scratching to get out. But she missed her best friend, and she knew Belle was aching for the brunette with an addiction to the color red. After two minutes of waiting for a response, Emma reluctantly slid her phone back into her pocket.

 

“Alright, Mr. Wolf, let’s get you outta there.” The blonde once again picked up her catch pole and peered in the crack. The wolf glared at her witheringly and for one whole second, she could’ve sworn she’d seen those eyes before. Then she shook off the feeling and stuck the catch pole in the dumpster.

 

The wolf’s posture went from slightly wary to extremely uncomfortable in a second. A growl rumbled up in it's throat that only got louder the closer Emma thrust the catch pole.

 

“Easy now, easy,” Emma whispered, more to herself than to the wolf. She was trying to reassure the wolf but she was also ashamed to admit that she was slightly nervous. Her pole wasn’t close enough, so she was forced to open the lid wider and wiggle her shoulders through. The light glimmered on those unnervingly hazel eyes as the wolf snarled full force, glaring first at Emma and then the pole. The silver ring was right in front of it’s nose now. But this wolf, however exhausted it may’ve been, wasn’t going down without a fight. It snapped at the pole, nearly ripping it out of Emma’s hand as it made contact.

 

“Easy!”

 

It’s hackles were on edge and it’s teeth were bared, the gums bloody from trying to gnaw it’s way out. It was pissed

 

“I’m getting you out,” she protested before adding under her breath “Flea bitten mutt.” The wolf let out a growl that could’ve been described as being disdainful. Emma would’ve found it funny if she hadn’t had been so frustrated. She waited until the wolf relaxed a little to move the pole. It was trapped in the corner, afraid of the pole and not willing to risk it’s life trying to get by it.

 

It fought every time the ring got close, biting and swatting a large paw at it. Finally, after an hour of no progress on either side, the wolf just seemed to give up, sighing in an almost human way and ducking it’s head in frustration. Emma managed to slip the ring around it’s neck but now the wolf was exhausted. The sheriff sighed in exasperation and tugged on the pole.

 

“C’mon, wolf! Come to freedom!” But it seemed to not want to move, snarling every time the ring around it’s neck made it’s paws slide forward. Emma opened the lid further and finally, the wolf caught a glimpse of the night beyond the dumpster. The sight of the world beyond the human seemed to give the creature a second wind and a willingness to comply. She suddenly sprang up and darted for Emma.

 

“Whoa!” Emma scrambled back as the large canine launched itself out of it’s prison. The sheriff landed on the cold pavement while the wolf with the catch pole still around it’s neck landed just beyond her. Almost without thinking, Emma grabbed the pole’s handle and watched in slow motion as the heavy lid of the dumpster, thrown up in the commotion, came crashing back down to rest position with a loud bang. 

 

The wolf jumped and then tried to make a run for it before realizing it still had something around it’s neck. Emma tugged back out of instinct, and then realized her mistake when she saw the wolf stiffen.

 

 _Oh no._ Was all she had time to think before the wolf was on her, snarling wildly. The sheriff managed to fend off the wolf’s teeth as she went for her face and throat, but then it seemed to realize what she was doing, and managed to latch onto her wrist. Emma let out a cry as the wolf’s sharp teeth broke skin and rubbed tendons and bone. She managed to get a knee up and kick the massive thing away, the catch pole releasing in the process. 

 

The wolf seemed satisfied. It huffed and coughed once before shooting Emma a glare from abnormal hazel eyes and turning tail. It was gone in the time Emma took to blink.

 

She swore once, twice, three times, as she cradled her wrist and got to her feet.

 

“I hate dogs!” She bellowed.


	2. The Night Shift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, WOW! I did not expect this story to take off like it did! So I have decided to add another chapter. Enjoy! Thanks for the likes and comments! Disclaimer, I own nothing but the way the words are written. All rights belong to the creators of Once Upon A Time.

Back at the station—with a roll of bandage wrapped around her wrist and an aspirin to knock out the pain—Emma was contently scrolling through Facebook on the laggy internet while eating a piece of miraculously still warm pizza when she heard her phone vibrate. Checking it, she saw she had three unread texts; one from Belle and two from Regina. Immediately, her stomach dropped and she gulped nervously as she read Regina’s texts, that had sent sometime shortly after she originally texted but weren't coming in until now.

 

**REGINA: It is one o’clock in the morning, Miss Swan. Kindly refrain from asking our son for help at this ungodly hour of the night during the school week.**

 

Her face burned red as she scrolled to see the next message, sent shortly after.

 

**REGINA: And besides. Any idiot with eyes can see that that monstrosity in a city dumpster would be a dog.**

 

Unable to help herself, Emma composed a reply back.

 

**EMMA: Right. Sorry bout that. However, Madame Mayor (seeing we r going with formalities) that “dog” as you call it is actually a wolf. Confirmed by our sleeping son and the city librarian. So :) Packs a hell of a bite too**

 

Almost immediately, the phone buzzed again.

 

**REGINA: I highly suggest you seek medical attention. Get a shot for rabies.**

 

 **EMMA: Lol, okay I will. When something’s open! Why r you up at—** she frowned at the computer screen, bright in comparison to the softly lit interior of her office— **2:30 anyways?**

 

**REGINA: Because SOMEONE won’t stop texting me, dear. Why are you up and chasing stray dogs (I refuse to believe there are wolves in Maine) around at this time anyways?**

 

Emma smiled. This wasn’t the first time she had woken up the Mayor while on a nightshift, but Regina never seemed to mind. In fact, Emma liked to think that she quite enjoyed these midnight banters. 

 

**EMMA: Take one guess lol**

 

**REGINA: Night shift?**

 

 **EMMA: 9 p.m to 5 a.m baby!** Then she hesitated and erased “baby” and sent it along with another text.

 

**EMMA: David got us pizza. I am happy :)**

 

**REGINA: Very little is required to please you, dear. Now, if you don’t mind, morning comes around very early. I have a pile of work to do, so I must sleep. Goodnight, Emma. Text me when you’re off.**

 

**EMMA: Why, is the Mayor ACTUALLY worried about me? ;) How sweet**

 

After a few minutes with no reply, Emma’s ear tips reddened and she hastily typed up another text.

 

**EMMA: Sorry. Have a good sleep**

 

She almost set her phone down before she remembered that she was talking about Red with Belle. She quickly brought up her conversation with Belle and read her reply to Emma’s previous text. It had buzzed in her pocket sometime during the scuffle with the wolf, but Emma had been too preoccupied at the moment to read it. 

 

**BELLE: Haven’t heard anything :( Tried her cellphone, email, everything. Granny said not to worry, she just went south for awhile, but why leave me behind?**

 

Emma frowned at her phone and then sighed and sent a reply.

 

**EMMA: Hang on, let me bring up her stuff**

 

She typed a few commands into her computer, wrist protesting loudly to any movement, and brought up her file on Ruby. She typed a couple more things which brought up the records of Ruby’s in-and-out phone usage. Then she texted Belle back.

 

**EMMA: Sorry, u r probs sleeping. But Ruby’s phone stuff says she hasn’t made a call since the beginning of October which is when she disappeared. There’s been virtually no activity in three months.**

 

She set her phone down and was staring intently at the computer when an incoming text made her jump. She hadn’t expected Belle to answer.

 

**BELLE: I just miss her so much. There’s no way she could’ve evaded the system?**

 

**EMMA: Ever the nerd, using big words like evaded in a text. AT TWO THIRTY IN THE FRICKIN MORNING FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD! But no, she couldn’t have hidden from us, we r all knowing >:) Unless she got a new phone…**

 

It took Belle a couple minutes to respond. The response conveyed all the hesitancy Emma knew the librarian was feeling.

 

**BELLE: Could she have? Gotten a new phone I mean. Does that seem like a Red thing to do?**

 

**EMMA: No, Belle. She’s tried to leave before but she’s never ever been smart enough—sorry it’s true—to change her phone**

 

**BELLE: Alright, I believe you. Thanks, Emma. Have a good night!**

 

**EMMA: We WILL find her, Belle. I promise. Good night.**

 

Exiting her texts, Emma sighed and stared at her wrist. It was still aching, but surprisingly the wound had stopped bleeding. She got up and began to pace the empty sheriff’s station. David had gone home at two after being done his 6-2 shift and now Emma was bored. She had done all her paperwork for the dog incident, did a patrol about an hour ago, she even tidied up the station and took stock of things. But now there was nothing to do for three and a half more hours. 

 

Technically, she could sleep, if she got up in two hours to patrol the streets and managed to answer the phone without sounding drunk, but both things Emma had learned were impossible for her. So, she paced restlessly. She took out manuals that were on the bookshelf in the corner by the holding cells and arranged them by size, then left them on David’s desk for something to do later. She turned on the water tap in the kitchenette behind her office and sang off key to the rhythms she heard in the rushing sound it made for a couple of minutes, then panicked and shut off the water. She ate more pizza when she got too bored and scrolled through random stuff on the internet until the slowness of it bothered her.

 

After about an hour of this random activity, Emma realized that her bite no longer hurt. At all. She even experimented by slapping the bandages. All she felt was a slight irritation, as if from an old wound that was nearly healed. Frowned, she whipped off the bandages. Where two larges portions of her wrist were missing, now only lumpy pink scar tissue remained as evidence.

 

“Weird,” Emma mumbled, poking the skin to see if it was real. It felt warm and firm beneath her fingers, no trace of pain. “That’s _super_ weird.”

 

A throbbing began in her head, expanding outwards from the base of her skull. She winced and sat down in her comfy office chair, popping some more aspirin into her mouth to kill the headache before it arose. The speedy healing of her wound had her unnerved beyond her comfort to admit it. So she opened her phone—data works faster than wifi—and began jokingly searching up lycanthropy.

 

***

 

The lycanthropy search was a bad idea. Now, as Emma patrolled the streets of Storybrooke in her cruiser, she was trying to convince herself that werewolves weren’t real, and the shakes and pains in her stomach and head were pizza related, not bite related. To help calm her down, she made a list of all the things she knew. Listing the concrete things that she could grasp with her mind and her hands was a coping device she used when things were scaring her in the system. They helped her organize and understand, blocking out the scary unknown.

 

_Number One: My name is Emma Swan. I have a son named Henry._

 

She took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth, trying not to wince as her stomach squirmed uncomfortably and her head throbbed in time to her heart.

 

_Number Two: Henry took me to Storybrooke, Maine, to break a curse set by the Evil Queen. I am the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White._

 

A sharp jab of pain in her stomach sent her gasping and pulling the cruiser over on the side of the road. She was on Main Street, she noticed, a couple doors down from Doc’s Pharmacy. If it was still open she might be able to get herself something for the pain. She braced her hands on the wheel, continuing to list while she waited to be freed from this talons that ensnared her in pain.

 

_Number Three: I was bitten by a dog tonight. Wolves do not live in Maine._

 

As her hands started shaking on the wheel though, she wasn’t so sure. The wolf had looked very... Wolfish. Her eyes fell on the wound it had inflicted on her, two puncture marks that had appeared to have been administrated to her long ago. She ran a thumb over both and groaned as her head throbbed in protest.

 

 _Number Four: Werewolves do not exist_.

 

Her resolve was faltering. Her skin was crawling, clammy and uncomfortable to the touch. Her fingers felt cold against her forehead and she felt like her guts were twisting and tearing, ripping at her flesh.

 

“Number Five,” she whispered, gritting her teeth as her body shuddered against her will. “That pizza was shit.”

 

Nausea rolled through her body in waves before she threw open the cruiser door and threw up in the street. Then she staggered her way to Doc’s Pharmacy and bought a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. She guzzled the gross pink liquid as she walked back to the cruiser, hoping to take the edge off of the pizza-induced sickness.

 

With her patrol over and the Pepto working a small miracle on her stomach, Emma curled up in her office and wrapped herself up in her blanket. Her body was shaky and sweaty—did food poisoning give you a fever?—and she felt like she was going through the ringer. She didn’t know she had dozed off until her phone buzzed against her cheek.

 

She jumped awake and squinted out the window to see that the sky was a lighter shade of blue than the middle of the night. Frowning, she checked her phone. It was 5:10 AM, and Regina had texted.

 

**REGINA: Is that your horrendous yellow death trap on wheels still at the station?**

 

**EMMA: Yeah. You woke me up**

 

**REGINA: You fell asleep at work? That’s highly unlike you, Sheriff Swan.**

 

**EMMA: Not feelin the best. Stupid pizza**

 

**REGINA: And now you’re suffering the consequences of shoving everything you see into your mouth.**

 

Emma scowled at the text. She didn’t know whether it was her all nighter or if Regina had finally worked her way under Emma’s skin. Either way, she was ruffled. She was about ready to shove her phone back into her pocket when another text came in.

 

**REGINA: I was just teasing you, dear. I apologize. Do you have time to swing by and make sure Henry is up in time for school?**

 

**EMMA: I really feel sick, Regina. I don’t want to make you guys sick either. I will see if Mary Margaret can pick him up. Why r you at the office at this hour anyways?**

 

**REGINA: Paperwork, Miss Swan. Paperwork. Feel better.**

 

Emma grunted as she noticed that Regina made no comment on the fact that she asked her old worst enemy to pick up their son. Then again, they were... What? Family? She wasn’t sure. Either way, she made herself a note to call Mary Margaret when she made it to her apartment.

 

The drive home was long, and Emma had to pull over twice to cough up the remains from her stomach. When she finally made it to her small apartment—twenty minutes feels like twenty years when you drive sick—she immediately flopped on her couch and turned on the small TV in the corner. Maybe there were some infomercials on that she could fall asleep to.

 

Before she did, she whipped out her dying cellphone and pulled up Mary Margaret’s contact. After a quick call in which Mary Margaret agreed to pick up Henry, Emma stared at her contact picture blankly. The picture she had for her mother was when the town was still cursed, it was Emma, Mary Margaret and Ruby outside a coffee shop in spring. Emma was laughing at something Snow had said, while Snow beamed at the camera and Ruby had an arm looped around both women, her hazel eyes sparkling like she had a secret.

 

Frowning, Emma exited her contacts and scrolled through her pictures. She had tons of pictures of Regina and Henry, Emma and Mary Margaret and David, but not a lot of Ruby. There was one of Ruby and Belle, with Belle kissing Ruby on the cheek, but the subject of Emma’s interest had her eyes closed and her head thrown back with laughter. Here was another picture, this time Ruby and Emma with their backs facing the camera on a bridge in a park in Storybrooke. Finally, she found the picture.

 

“Holy shit, Rubes,” Emma whispered as her thumb ran absentmindedly over her bite. “What’s going to happen to me now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep leaving comments and likes guys I like it hahaha. Follow me on tumblr (@the-voice-in-the-dark) for anything you wanna know bout me!


	3. Symptoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the way the words are written. All character rights belong to the creators of Once Upon A Time.
> 
> Just a heads up that the werewolves in this story are very much like the wolves in Maggie Stiefvater's books Shiver, Linger and Forever.

As a week passed with this weird sickness only getting worse, Emma finally admitted to herself that it wasn’t food poisoning. Everything was a hassle, leaving the couch-turned-bed the hardest. She hardly had the strength to push herself up, let alone crawl to the bathroom to throw up. However recently she’d been dry heaving—there was nothing left in her stomach.

 

“Ma?” A voice echoed through the apartment. Emma stirred from the restless doze she didn’t realize she was in and shuddered as a harsh cold breeze drifted past her face.

 

“H…Henry?” She whispered, her throat raw and catchy due to being coated by sharp bile. She tried to sit up as the adolescent boy rounded the corner and came into the room. His presence alone seemed to light up the space. “Wh…What are you doing here?”

 

“We came to check on you dear,” came a familiar low cadence that sent more shivers up Emma’s spine. She looked over Henry’s shoulder at the sound of heeled shoes walking warily into the room. Regina wrapped an arm around their son’s shoulders and observed Emma in concern. “And it’s a good thing we did. You look terrible.”

 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Emma wheezed, her eyes half-lidded as she grinned. Regina ignored her and took in everything about the room. Everything had the harsh sour odour of the sick, and it looked like Emma had moved out here. Empty glasses littered the coffee table along with tissues and plates with old food still stuck on them. Three buckets were parked beside the well-worn couch, and Regina could see that two were full. Her own stomach turned as she tried hard not to think about what they were full of. 

 

The blonde herself was wrapped in four blankets but still shaking, her legs brought up to her chest. Regina was alarmed to see how thin Emma’s face had gotten—her eyes were sunken in, her cheekbones sharp and angled, and her skin a dull gray color.

 

“Henry,” now the brunette turned to her still gawking son, who looked concerned and uneasy. “Why don’t you go grab Emma a bottle of water? I’ll clean up a little bit in here.”

 

The shaggy haired boy nodded and slipped back through the doorway, bustling over to the kitchen to rummage through Emma’s fridge for a water bottle. Regina calmly grabbed a large black garbage bag and began to throw out the old food—most of which was no longer fit for human consumption. Then she turned her dark eyes onto her friend, who lay there staring blankly up at the ceiling with a dull green gaze. The breath was wheezing out of her with a terrifying rattle.

 

“Emma, why are you not eating?” The former queen asked in a low murmur, concern making her forget about her appearance of an aloof and distant mayor.

 

“Can’t keep anything down,” she sighed. Her bloodshot eyes turned to the buckets. “There’s all my food from the past week. There’s nothing left to go in that one…” Her voice trailed off and Regina could see how draining it was for the blonde to speak. Her eyes fluttered shut a couple times and she began to droop.

 

Without hesitating, Regina caught her friend—ignoring the flutter in her chest that having the blonde in her arms caused—and very gently set her back on the couch. She rested a maternal hand on Emma’s forehead and ripped it back all of a sudden.

 

“Emma, you’re burning up!”

 

“No, you’re just cold,” she mumbled, gritting her teeth. “My head’s killing me.”

 

“And you have a fever. I think we should take you to the doctors.”

 

To her great surprise, Emma was shaking her head. “Hate doctors. No doctors.”

 

“Emma—”

 

“Jus… Gimme some painkillers… I’ll be fine.” With her voice beginning to slur, Regina realized that Emma was about to pass out. She sighed and busied herself with cleaning the living room. She took the buckets to the bathroom and flushed the contents down the toilet before clearing away the old glasses and plates and putting them in the dishwasher. She felt a brief prickle of irritation as she turned the corner and found Henry sitting at the kitchen table on his phone. She almost said something when the boy jumped up, his hazel eyes filled with concern.

 

“Is she okay?”

 

“She’s resting now. You can go sit with her if you want.” Henry nodded and hurried out of the room, pausing for a moment to grab a water bottle. Regina watched him go and then continued to do the dishes. When she was done, she returned to the living room hearing soft murmurs. She rested in the entryway into the room and watched as Henry told Emma what was going on in Storybrooke; how Grumpy had gotten arrested for being drunk and disorderly; how Mr. Gold once again tried to lure Belle into a relationship—she refused, still waiting for Ruby to return; how Henry had a date with Grace this coming Saturday. All the while, Emma listened raptly, her eyes flickering every now and then but she was nodding alone with everything their son was saying

 

Regina shot Henry a sharp glance. “You never told me about that.” Giving away her presence, she then sashayed into the room and perched regally on an armchair opposite from the couch Henry and Emma were resting on. She purposely ignored the way Emma was staring at her, but hiding her smile was hard. 

 

The lanky boy had the decency to hunch his shoulders and offer her a sheepish smile. “I was gonna tell you, but I didn’t know how.”

 

“Leave the Kid alone,” Emma chastised the brunette. When Regina gave her a raised eyebrow, the blonde also flashed her a ghost of a smile. “He _was_ going to tell you.” For an instant, Regina basked in the warmth of the blonde’s smile. But then a barely concealed wince screwed up Emma’s face and a tremble raced through her body, visible from the other side of the room.

 

“Do you have anything that’ll help you?” The brunette asked, already making her way into the bathroom. 

 

“No,” came the croak from the couch. 

 

“Well then, Henry and I will run out and get you some stuff. Alright?”

 

There was an affirmative grunt from the couch, though the blonde seemed to be focused more on whatever amount of pain she was in. It seemed to be a lot. Her brow was furrowed and she was beginning to get restless, tossing her legs this way and that.

 

“Emma,” Regina hurried to her side and dropped to her knees beside the couch, cupping her friend’s cheek with her palm. She didn’t even care if Henry saw, or if her blank pencil skirt got wrinkled. Her sole focus was Emma’s health. “Emma, what’s hurting? What can I do?”

 

“My stomach. My _head_. It all _hurts._ ”

 

Gently, the mayor hushed her fallen sheriff before turning to Henry and tossing him her Mercedes keys. “Can you go start the car for me? Bringing it up front. I’ll be out in a second.”

 

Henry nodded, his eyes huge, and then he hurried out of the apartment. Regina turned back to Emma and found her green eyes meeting her own. Pain filled Emma’s brave face, causing Regina’s heart to tug painfully.

 

“ _Regina._ ” Emma breathed, as if saying her name would cure her. She opened her mouth to speak, but Regina put a gentle finger on her lips. She recognized the expressions flitting across the blonde’s face from the times Henry had been sick. There was something going on in her body that she didn’t know how to deal with.

 

“Don’t try to speak. Save your energy. We will go grab some medicine for you and we will be right back okay?” She hoped Emma couldn’t hear the waver in her voice.

 

The other woman nodded once, jerkily. Regina nodded back satisfied and then left the apartment. As soon as the door was shut behind her, she lifted her cellphone out of her pocket and shaky fingers dialled three digits. She held the phone to her ear as someone picked up on the other end.

 

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

 

***

 

 

The pain Emma had felt over the course of the week was nothing if not bad. But this was worse. Over the course of Regina and Henry’s visit, the pains in her stomach and head had increased. It felt like her blood was on fire. She felt her head splitting in two and her stomach ripping itself apart.

 

Her groans of pain quickly built up to be shouts. She was glad no one was around to hear it. Feeling like ants were crawling along her body, she threw off the blankets and writhed in pain. Her bones rubbed against each other, her muscles were stretching themselves apart, and all Emma could think of was Regina. How the former queen calmed her down. How her presence in this lonely apartment made everything seem so much better. How her cinnamon and coffee scent chased away the reek of illness that hung over the blonde like a cloud.

 

 _This is not right!_ The thought flashed through her mind as her body pushed it’s way off the couch and she landed on the carpeted floor with a thud. She retched and clawed at her stomach, but her fingers were changing. Everything was changing. Her shoulders shook and she somehow managed to land face-first on the floor, twitching and thrashing her body. Spasms raced through her from head to toe and she could feel the bones inside her breaking, grinding themselves to dust and then re-solidifying into another form. She heard rather than saw her clothing stretch and rip away as new muscles, new bones formed. She never imagined changing into another’s form would hurt so much.

 

Her flesh rippled and bubbled, and she closed her eyes as it started changing color. With her eyes closed, she felt less scared, as if becoming something else wasn’t what was happening to her. Her mind was on fire as everything exploded into crystallized clarity. The smells in the space, the sound of her heart pounding blood through her exhausted body. For one sickening moment, she didn’t know who— _what_ _—_ she was. It was like she was stuck somewhere in between Emma and this new creature. But then there was a snap in her mind and she was jolted forward, hurtling away from everything that made her Emma and settling into this new body. This new wolf.

 

Her eyes opened and she lay on the floor, her new canine tongue lolled out of her mouth and the air panting in and out of her new form in great _whoofs_ of sound. She didn’t know she wasn’t alone until something rested on her side. It was gentle, without any intent to hurt, but it was so unexpected that she leapt to her feet and ran blindly away—right into a wall. Her new claws scrabbled hard against the solid surface in front of her, and a whine escaped her new mouth.

 

“Emma!” The other being called. The wolf who was once called Emma turned so it couldn’t catch her unprepared. In front of her, was a wolf-smelling human. She had long, straight brown hair with a streak of red in it—wolves can’t see much colors but _red_ is the most vibrant of all—and a long narrow face that had no ill intent written on it. She had on a black leather jacket and black leggings that the wolf couldn’t comprehend. “I’m not going to hurt you, Emma.”

 

There was that word again. The wolf stared boldly into the human’s eyes. To do so was a challenge. This she knew, but barely. She didn’t know how to dance the intoxicating waltz that was being a wolf, though she knew she had to learn. She knew this human had the answers. Dimly, she connected the eyes of the human to a memory—a memory from another body. A wolf with the eyes of this human biting a human that was buried somewhere in this wolf. 

 

It was all she had to retain before the shaking began once more. The human swiftly picked up the wolf, wrapping her in the shredded human things that still ensnared her and slung her over her shoulder.

 

“You have a lot to learn, Emma,” Ruby murmured, making her way to the open window with the fire exit that she had entered through. “And I am going to teach you.”

 

Without another word, the wolf who was becoming human, and the human who was destined to be a wolf slipped out of sight.

 

***

 

Down below, Regina paced anxiously in front of her car. Henry sat in the passenger seat, watching his mother with concern as she stared down the street. Finally, sirens echoed from further away and the woman paused in her pacing, staring intently until she saw the ambulance round the corner.

 

“Mom, why aren’t we in there with her?” Henry asked again, his voice wavering a little bit.

 

“Henry, I told you. She asked for no doctors and I went behind her back to call them anyways.” Guilt was wracking Regina but her concern for Emma was dominating. “And she needs serious help.”

 

They had no more time to say anything as the paramedics pulled over in front of the Mercedes and two men got out. “Is this where the sick woman is?” One asked.

 

“Yes, follow me,” Regina commanded in a brisk tone. The two men nodded and got out a gurney before following her into the building. She paced in front of the rickety old elevator until it opened with an out-of-tune ding. The two medical men and Regina piled in—Henry opted to take the stairs—and she clenched her hands into fists in agitation as it led them slowly to the third floor. When they got there, Henry was waiting with an ashen face.

 

“Mom, Emma isn’t there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr! (@the-voice-in-the-dark)


	4. The Wolf Among Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mention of Hook. Sorry bout that but the next chapter will deal with why he was mentioned.
> 
> Thanks again for all your support! I don't know how many chapters this will be, but I'll keep posting them until I leave.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the way the words are written. All characters belong to the creators of Once Upon A Time.

Regina ground her teeth in frustration as David and Mary Margaret stood on opposite sides of her study, arguing about how they were going to find their daughter.

 

“I’ve got the dwarves out looking, I’m going out to patrol and Granny is watching the diner—what more do you want?” David was saying.

 

“I’m the best tracker in the kingdom! Let _me_ go out and find her!” Mary Margaret was insisting. Regina looked over and saw Henry sitting in the shadows, his eyes glinting in the dark. It was way passed his bed-time—he still had school the next day—but Regina could see that he wasn’t going anywhere until a plan was figured out to find his birthmother.

 

 _So stubborn,_ she thought to herself with a small inkling of pride. _So much like Emma._

 

She winced at how she reacted in her apartment. 

 

***

 

When Henry met them at the elevator, Regina didn’t know what to think. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest and all she could think of was _Please don’t let Emma be dead, please don’t let Emma be dead, pleasedon’tletherbedead!_ She had exploded out of the small box and practically ran to Emma’s apartment. She threw open the door and ran to the couch, afraid to find Emma’s still, cold body staring back at her.

 

Instead, an empty room glared back at her, the scent of sickness still heavy in the air along with… Something else. Something vaguely doglike. She had no time to ponder that. She ran from room to room, shouting Emma’s name like it might do something. But the blonde never jumped out, miraculously healthy and yelling “Surprise!”.

 

“I told you, Mom, she’s not here,” Henry murmured from the living room. “But look at this.”

 

His voice moved her from the stale smelling bedroom back out to the living room, where Henry was kneeling at the far wall. She stood over him, staring at claw marks in the paint.

 

“What is that?”

 

“Claw marks,” he said. “Something wasn’t happy.”

 

“Could’ve been old.”

 

“No, Mom, look.” He swiped a finger down one of the claw marks and it came back speckled in red. “This is blood.”

 

“So what does this have to do with Emma?”

 

“I don’t know but it wasn’t here before.”

 

Regina scowled to herself and paced the length of the room. “I don’t believe she could’ve just… _Disappeared._ Come on, Henry, help me look.”

 

“She isn’t here though.”  
  
“Then we look around the place. We have got to find her.”

 

Together the mother son duo spread out and searched all the halls of the four story building. When they could find no trace of a certain blonde haired menace, Regina reluctantly paid the paramedics a hefty sum for their time and then left to call her son’s grandparents. They were not too thrilled.

 

***

 

The argument between the Charmings had blossomed over a homemade dinner at Regina’s house. At first it was about the size of the search party for her—should only a select few go, should many go—and then it grew to _who_ exactly, now it was down to the dwarves or Snow. The former Queen was perched regally in her armchair, watching the “perfect couple” shout back and forth in annoyance. Normally she would find it amusing, but normally her blonde counterpart was beside her, teasing them both. With Emma missing it was as if nothing else mattered.

 

“Alright quit it!” Regina finally shouted. Everyone in the room froze and stared at her in surprised silence. She had used her commanding voice. “ _Thank_ you. Now, this argument is not going to find your daughter. To find her, I believe you two should work _together_ what do you think?”

 

David eyed Mary Margaret, doubt clouding his blue eyes. 

 

“What is your problem, David,” his wife seethed, her temper growing at his hesitation. “Don’t you want to find her?”

 

“Well, of course I do. But what about Neal? What if Emma shows up? One of us should stay behind to watch him and let the other know if she comes.”

 

“Well how about this,” Regina threw in again, flexing her fingers as she gathered her thoughts. It was a common thing to see when she was proposing something at a council meeting. “How about Henry sleeps at the loft tonight and I watch Neal in case Emma should come either here or there?”

 

Now both husband and wife looked at Regina with surprise. 

 

“What?” She demanded.

 

“Nothing,” Mary Margaret shrugged, eyebrows raised. “I just thought you would be out looking for her with us.”

 

Every instinct told Regina to go with her old nemesis, to scour the city and the woods shouting Emma’s name until the girl she was growing to love came back. But logic told her to stay. She knew Emma had enough connections to this house that if she were stumbling around in a fevered state—and not, in fact kidnapped by some crazy person—that she would probably stumble her way here at one point in the night.

 

“Yeah, Mom,” now Henry stood up, a frown darkening his features. “Why _aren’t_ we going looking for her?”

 

“Because it’s late at night and _you_ young man have school tomorrow. I believe if Emma is able to walk on her own, she might stumble here on her own. I want to stay in case that happens.”

 

David narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but Mary Margaret—to everyone’s great surprise—nodded her head with soft green eyes. “Alright, then. I believe you. But if she shows up will you let us know?”

 

“Of course!”

 

“Great,” David sighed, whipping out his phone. “Then there’s only one more thing we need to do before we go looking for her.”

 

“Which is?”

 

He met Regina’s fiery brown eyes and sighed. “Someone needs to call Hook.”

 

***

 

For the first time in a week, she slept peacefully. No restless dreams rolled behind her eyelids, no waves of nausea or head pain made her whimper and cry out. She was peaceful. Until she realized that the smell of the room she was in—the smell of greasy food and the sharp, smoky tang of winter—was not the same as her living room.

 

She bolted awake, eyes darting around wildly as she took in her new surroundings. A small window in the corner leaked watery white light in from the world outside. The walls were cinderblocks and the far wall had a small fireplace installed in it. She rested on a plush single bed, wrapped in green blankets and a fresh smelling pillow behind her head. Her muscles felt like string and her bones felt like Jello. 

 

“Emma?” The voice was familiar. She lifted her head and saw Ruby sitting in a plastic chair at the foot of her bed, three sweaters and two scarves wrapped around her torso. Even so, she was still shuddering. A hand was held out towards the sheriff, palm out, fingers down, the symbol of no harm.

 

“Ruby?” She saw familiar hazel eyes light up as a smile graced her friend’s face.

 

“Hey. Glad you remember me this time.”

 

 _This time?_ Emma frowned, tilting her head as she heard chatter and footsteps from above her. “Where am I? What happened? Where were _you_? How long has it been? How did I—”

 

“Easy, Em.” A sculpted eyebrow twitched upwards. “One thing at a time.”

 

Emma paused, trying to dig through her cloudy memory of things that had happened. She remembered Regina and Henry in her apartment, her head on fire, her body rippling, shredding, changing. She remembered waking up in a red car, still on fire. She remembered being trapped. She shuddered. The question that left her mouth was none of her originals.

 

“What am I?”

 

Again Ruby smiled. Her eyes, the wolf’s eyes, sparkled with knowledge. “You’re a wolf. Like me. Sorry ‘bout the bite, by the way. You scared me.”

 

“You’re the wolf?” _I’m a wolf?_

 

“Crazy, right?”

 

“But then, where have you been? How does no one know about you?”

 

“Well, Granny knows. As for where I’ve been, the woods.”

 

“Belle misses you, Rubes.” The brunette lowered her head.

 

“I miss her, too.”

 

They were quiet, Ruby beginning to shudder a bit more violently and Emma lost in thought. Somewhere above them, something was dropped and laughter rang out. Emma frowned. “Where _am_ I?”

 

Ruby, glad for the subject change, glanced around them as if the answer were obvious. “We are in the basement of Granny’s! Couldn’t you smell the food?”

 

“Well yeah, but I didn’t know. I’ve never been in the basement before.”

 

“Right.” Again another silence, punctuated only by the sounds above them. Finally, Emma regarded Ruby and her silent sadness and spoke.

 

“Ruby, why don’t you come home?”

 

“Emma, perhaps we could continue this conversation another time?” A cold draft slipped into the room from the single window. The other girl’s skin darkened a shade and as she shook her head, the scent of wolf drifted over to Emma’s newly sensitive nose. She began shaking violently before a wolf backed out of her skin and observed Emma with Ruby’s eyes. The answer became clear. Ruby couldn’t come home because she wasn’t fully human yet.

 

As a sudden wave of nausea took over Emma, she looked up and realized too late that the door to the room was shut. There was nothing she could do as the wolf burst forth and leapt off the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr (@the-voice-in-the-dark) for all things me and this story.


	5. Run Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! Double update!
> 
> My mind was on fire today so I had to update again!
> 
> Trigger warning for description of violence, along with description of a corpse.
> 
> Sorry friends.
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters belong to the creators of Once Upon A Time.

It was sometime later when an old woman came down and peered in the room. What she saw inside made her sigh and put a hand on her hip. Two wolves, one grey-brown, one pale blonde, were curled up in the room. When the door opened, the pale one stood up, tail raised but ears flagged to the side in wariness. Her emerald green eyes flashed dangerously, but the woman’s focus was on the second wolf, who also regarded the woman with rapt attention.

 

“Ruby,” Granny hissed, a scowl on her face. “You know everyone is looking for her! You can’t keep her here. Go out to the woods, at least till she’s stable. God. I don’t know _what_ you were thinking!”

 

She closed the door again and both wolves listened as they heard her go back up the stairs. The wolf she called Ruby let out a soft whine as the sound of a door creaking open echoed down to them. The blonde wolf got agitated too; they could both sense the call of the woods and the snow. She began pacing by the door, scratching every once and awhile where the old human had disappeared. When her footsteps thumped back down the stairs, both paused with ears erect and eyes attentive. 

 

The door swung open once more, but the human made sure she was no where near the open space.

 

“Well, come on then.” 

 

Warily, both wolves left the room, first the darker wolf, then the lighter one. As soon as they had slunk passed the human, the one named Ruby burst into a sprint, galloping up the uneven things humans called stairs. Her pack-mate was right behind her. They burst out of the relative warmth of the building and paused just outside the door, panting and trying to get their bearings.

 

The pale wolf whimpered softly as her senses were assaulted. She could smell the humans, their strange vehicles and food, the garbage and whatever street creatures had wandered through. She could here the chaotic roar of the vehicles around her, the incessantly loud chatter of the humans everywhere. Bright lights stung her brilliant night vision and she could taste the oily tang of the humans’ vehicles on her tongue. She tucked her tail, suddenly unsure.

 

Seeing her pack-mate act this way, the other wolf gently rubbed up against her, biting her muzzle and chin in reassurance. She focused on her friend and sent her an image. Dark, quiet trees and the two of them running through them, pouncing through the snow and howling to the stars. This calmed the new wolf and she looked to the hazel eyed one for direction.

 

Taking the lead, Ruby leapt out into the snow, sticking to the alleyways and shadows as the trudged towards the woods. The other wolf followed faithfully, her eyes dancing in the wintery city. Her heart leapt and her body danced in the rhythm of the wolf. She was free.

 

***

 

The man with the gleaming claw as a hand watched the wolves watching him. He’d stumbled into the woods, reeking of something dark, and accidentally staggered upon the wolves as they rested under an ancient hemlock. The pale one reacted first, curling her lip in warning. He only stared, grief in his eyes.

 

“You have her eyes,” he mumbled, frowning and breathing fiercely. The darker wolf got agitated by the negative energy he was letting off and slunk off into some bushes. But the pale one didn’t. Memories were stirring, memories from another life time when she was named “Emma”. He picked up a rock and the wolf growled a warning, sensing his intent. _Fight or flight?_

 

She was poised for flight, legs slightly bent, head low, eyes wary. That was until he approached her so fast she didn’t have time to react. He stood within her space, a good wolf’s length between them, but before she could run, he threw the rock. It bounced off her muzzle, splitting open her nose. She snarled but this drunken human was much too close and angry to run from now. She knew he would follow her.

 

“My girlfriend is missing and you have her bloody _eyes_!” He wailed and lunged for her. Before his hands could touch a hair on her pelt, she leapt on him, snarling and growling as she bit at him. He clawed at her face, hit her with his hook, and she couldn’t let him go. He reached up to her throat and it triggered a reaction in her she never knew she had.

 

_Fight._

 

She overpowered him easily and landed a fatal bite on his throat. He cried out but she didn’t let go. She held on as tight as she could, even when she felt her body changing. When her mouth was no longer strong enough to hold on, she used her strange new fore paws with their slender toes and blunt claws to squeeze.  The man met her eyes and his screams turned to gasps.

 

She let go from the man’s bloody neck. She didn’t know who she was. She was a wolf in her brain, yet a human in appearance.  She was shaking, she was gasping, her skin was ivory and cold from the wind and snow. She was—

 

“Emma,” Killian whispered. She stared at him, the mangled state of her lover’s throat. He let out a small sad smile which broke her down. She sobbed as his eyes glazed over and became glassy, staring too far into her own.

 

“Killian,” she whispered, sobbing. “No.”

 

In the trees, Ruby the wolf watched carefully. Sensing the wildness of Emma, the wolf just beneath her skin and the grief that overtook her, Ruby tipped back her head and let out a mournful howl.

 

Laying nearby the newly dead man was his phone. Emma knew there was only one person she could talk to. Only one person who knew what it felt like to have her heart shredded mercilessly. Only one person she needed to talk to. Tears warming her frozen face, she flipped open his phone with frozen, bloody fingers and dialled the only number she had memorized since arriving in Storybrooke.

 

The call was picked up on the second ring.

 

“Hello?” The voice was ringed with exhaustion but already warmed Emma in a way she didn’t know.

 

“ _Regina._ ”

 

***

 

Regina had just put Neal down in the playpen Mary Margaret had brought over when the phone rang. She frowned at the unfamiliar number on the caller I.D, then at the clock which read 11:09 PM. 

 

_Who the hell is calling this late?_

 

“Hello?”

 

“ _Regina._ ” It was a small, whispery gasp but still Regina knew that voice. The voice that said her name like it would cure her.

 

“Emma?” Her mouth was dry, her heart was hammering. _Is this even real?_ There was no response from the other end of the line. Only soft gasps which could've been sobs. “Emma where are you? Are you alright? Where the _hell_ are you? Everyone is worried si—”

 

Before she could finish the sentence, the line went dead. Regina hissed and hung up the phone. Her hand wasn’t even off it when it rang again. She picked it up again.

 

“ _Emma?_ ”

 

“Um no,” she recognized David’s voice right away and her hope deflated a small bit. “It’s David. Why, has she called?”

 

Regina hesitated. She wanted to save this moment, her interaction with Emma. She wanted to savour in the fact that she trusted Regina the most to call her. She didn’t want to break his heart if she had imagined the whole thing. “No, I just thought it was her. Why are you calling here?”

 

Now it was David’s turn to hesitate. In a sombre tone he said, “We just got a call. A body’s been found in the woods. It’s Hook.”

 

***

 

David and Mary Margaret exchanged a look as they pulled in to the scene of the crime. Leroy and Sneezy were pacing outside of Leroy’s 1990 Chevrolet, Leroy with his phone in his hand. When he saw the cruiser, he stalked over, a scowl on his face.

 

“It’s about time, brother,” he grumped. “The damn wolves keep hanging around, we thought they’d have dragged him off by the time you came.”

 

“Wolves?” Snow looked over at David, her face pinched in concern. David just squeezed the bridges of his nose and sighed.

 

“Leroy, there are no wolves in Maine.”

 

“You bet your ass there are! Me and Sneezy just seen ‘em. They’re big ones, too.”

 

“Where’s Hook?”

 

“This way.” Leroy jerked his head and stalked off into the bushes along the side of the road, Sneezy in tow. David once again shared a glance with his wife before he turned on the flashlight and prowled after the dwarf. Snow brought up the rear with a firm grip on her bow.

 

“So tell me how it is you found him.” Getting down to business, David pulled out a notebook and poised a pen, ready to take notes.

 

“Well, me and Sneezy were headed out to the mines to just do a sweep and make sure everything was good. I pulled over to take a leak and I heard this godawful scream. So, we followed it and we saw him.”

 

The deputy jotted this down. “Was there anyone else in the clearing?”

 

This time, it was the dwarves who shared a look. Sneezy let out a sneeze and Leroy turned grey eyes back to David. “We… Well, we thought we heard Emma.”

 

“Emma?” Mary Margaret was honed in on the conversation now, her eyes sharp and clear. “Did she sound alright?”

 

“Well… It sounded like she was crying. But when we got there and we saw him, that’s when we saw the wolves. There was no sign of her.” Suddenly Leroy stopped and turned to David. “It’s just over that knoll right in front of us. There’s no way I’m going back there. Not with the wolves around.”

 

“Me neither,” Sneezy agreed with a sniffle. Prince Charming turned to Snow White.

 

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to see that,” he whispered to her. She took his hands and placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was a kiss that spoke of a promise.

 

“Wherever you go, I go,” she replied. “I can handle it.”

 

He nodded and together, hand and hand, they walked over the knoll. They paused when the beam of the flashlight illuminated Hook’s crumpled body. David bit his lip hard while Snow hid her face in his chest for a moment. 

 

“I have to determine the cause of death,” Charming muttered, unable to raise his voice above a low rumble for fear of it faltering. Mary Margaret nodded.

 

“I’ll call Whale. Let him know to prepare for an autopsy.”

 

David kissed her forehead once more and then walked towards the corpse his daughter’s boyfriend. His hook was on his chest, bloody as if he were fighting something off, while his good hand was frozen, straining towards a bloody rock just out of his grasp. His throat was torn, four large puncture wounds on his windpipe, and small tufts of golden fur were matted in his blood. The deputy knelt and quickly grabbed a plastic bag out of his pocket, putting a clump of the bloody fur in it for evidence. Then he dared venture his eyes up to Hook’s ragged face.

 

His mouth curved down at the edges, his eyes staring vacantly at something over David’s shoulder. David shuttered at the ghostly sadness written there.He closed his eyes and rocked back and forth, wondering what could’ve done this, when a small whimper echoed out from a nearby bush.

 

His eyes snapped open in an instant and he watched as a pale golden wolf crept out, her eyes flashing as she watched him. For a moment, they caught in a shaft of moonlight and David swore that those were his wife’s—his _daughter’s_ —eyes staring back at him. But then he stood, and the majestic creature vanished into the night. 

 

He watched her go, mind ablaze as he wondered what _really_ happened to Emma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow meh on tumblr! (@the-voice-in-the-dark)
> 
> also keep leaving comments and kudos I love it :D


	6. Grief That Cannot Be Spoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty to clear some stuff up:
> 
> No one knows Ruby is a wolf. Also the shift is an uncontrollable full shift, which I thought is important for you guys to know especially in this chapter.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to the creators of Once Upon A Time.

In the next while that followed Emma’s strange disappearance, Regina kept busy. First by organizing and attending the search parties for the absentee blonde for three weeks, then spending every waking moment in her office for another month, catching up on the town’s affairs that had slipped by her while she had been madly searching. Her worry for her friend was gradually changing into something else. Annoyance. Bitterness.

 

Emma had only called that once, and hung up too soon. After David had called, Regina immediately called back the strange number only to find out it had no voicemail. She rang it again and again until she was told that the phone number she was calling was no longer in service. After that notice, she took to calling Emma’s phone once a day until she filled up the voicemail on that one. She made sure to do that at her office. She had once caught Henry on the phone, waiting endlessly for his other mother to pick up. Seeing him, staring blankly out the window, face lit up with the hope that was gradually dying day by day broke Regina’s heart more than Emma’s disappearance ever did. So she took to calling the phone only in private to save her son more heartbreak.

 

One day while they were eating a late dinner of Granny’s takeout in silence, Henry perked up, focused on something just outside the window.

 

“Mom, look!” 

 

“What is it Henry?” The brunette peered out the window at the golden panel of light that illuminated the dark and snowy night. She could see the birdseed she’d left out for the birds, but other than that, nothing disturbed the curtain of falling snow. “I don’t see anything.”

 

“Just watch!” Regina rolled her eyes but leaned with her elbows braced on the kitchen table, watching the world outside. Just as her patience was running thin, Henry pointed and the former Queen peered closer. A shape was moving just beyond the reach of the light. Something big and doglike, which hugged the shadows as it circled the pool of light.

 

“What is that?” Now her voice had dropped to a whisper. The creature finally dared be brave to show it’s identity. It was big, almost white with the coat of snow layered on it’s back like a blanket. It’s pointed ears were flat to it’s skull and it’s tail was tucked in uncertainty as it eyed the birdseed and then the window. It was certainly some kind of dog, but which kind Regina could not—

 

“It’s a wolf,” Henry said, voice hardly a whisper. His tone was one of dead certainty. Regina didn’t bother to correct him with _Wolves don’t live in Maine, dear_. Instead, the pair just watched as the animal braced it’s front legs and leaned forward just far enough to sniff and then gobble down the birdseed Regina had left out. When it was finished, it corrected it’s stance, shook off some of the snow coating it, licked at it’s nose and then stared boldly into the house.

 

Regina’s breath caught in her throat as the light sparkled in the green irises of the creature. She only knew one other being who’s eyes shone that way. _Emma?_  

 

Instead of answering, the wolf flicked an ear back, posture of a creature at ease, and then made it’s way back into the darkness.

 

“Well that was weird,” Henry said, breaking the spell of awe that was cast over the two of them. “Did you see it’s eyes? I didn’t know wolves could have green eyes.”

 

Regina fixed him with a dubious glance. “It’s probably just a big stray dog,” she muttered, wincing as she heard how bright his voice was. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him more. But instead, Henry offered her a smile. It was a small smile but it melted Regina’s heart. She hadn’t seen him smile since Emma got sick.

 

“Whatever you say, Mom,” he replied, in a tone that said he didn’t believe her. He ate the last bite of his burger, threw out his garbage and made his way upstairs. On the last step, he hesitated and turned around. “Mom?”

 

Regina followed him to the base of the stairs and looked up, waiting for his question. He frowned at his shoes for a second.

 

“Do you… Do you think Emma’s alright? Wherever she is?”

 

“Henry,” Regina whispered, her heart twisting. She stared tight-lipped at a stair just below him and tried to force down all her bitterness, anger and concern before she met her son’s eyes with a watery smile and said, “I really hope so.”

 

Just then, the phone rang. Henry nodded and plodded his way to his room while Regina went over to the phone. She checked the caller I.D and sighed in annoyance as she saw that it was the Charmings.

 

“Hello?” She answered, her voice not hostile but not entirely friendly.

 

“Regina, glad we caught you.” This was David. Regina rolled her eyes.

 

“To what do I owe this… _Pleasure?_ ” The Queen sighed.

 

“It’s about Hook. The results of the autopsy are in.”

 

Immediately her interest was perked. “Oh? Took their sweet time didn’t they? What’s the verdict?”

 

“Well the bites on his throat and the fur we found were confirmed to be a wolf, so we know a wolf killed him.” _Well so much for Wolves not living in Maine._ The way David rushed through the sentence, she sensed there was something else.

 

“But…?” She prompted him, hearing the word he hadn’t yet said.

 

“But, there was… Something else.”

 

“Well, are you going to keep me in suspense here, Sheriff?” Regina’s heart twinged sadly. After two weeks of Emma being gone, David had taken over being the sheriff.

 

“Acting sheriff,” he corrected her gently. “Anyway, we took a swab of his hand and hook to see what we could find. And… Well, the blood on his hook was Emma’s.”

 

“ _What?_ ” Slowly Regina sunk into an armchair beside the phone, a hand over her heart. After a month of patching up her broken heart, David had just gone and dredged up emotions she wanted left buried in one sentence. “What does this mean? Did he have her this whole time?”

 

“We don’t know. We searched the Jolly Roger from top to bottom but there’s no sign of Emma there. If he was involved in her disappearance, he hid her well.”

 

“Sick bastard,” she hissed. “Anything else?”

 

Again, David hesitated.

 

“David,” Regina growled. “Tell. Me.”

 

“Well, with this discovery, we’re thinking that it might be time to stop looking for a missing person and start looking for a body.” His voice broke on the last sentence, but Regina was just numb. Emma couldn’t be _dead_. Regina would know if she was. She was convinced that the dirty pirate had just hidden her somewhere good. 

 

“It’s not like the Charmings to give up,” Regina snapped instead, everything about the conversation freezing her blood in an icy rage. “Especially if it’s your daughter we are looking for. She’s not dead, goddammit, you’re just not looking hard enough!”

 

“Regina, I—”

 

But she had had enough. She slammed the receiver down, cutting off the call. For a moment, she just sat there, staring at the blurry floor. She didn’t know what to do. Part of her just wanted to scream and destroy her house because of the Charmings’ stupidity, a different part of her wanted to leap out of the chair, out of the house and yell for Emma until the idiot—her idiot—came back, and a whole other part of her wanted to box up all her emotion and never feel again.

 

“Mom?” Henry’s watery voice broke her. She didn’t know she was already crying until he spoke, and now she did so freely, curled up in a ball on the chair, face buried against her knees as she sobbed. All while her beloved teenaged son crouched beside her, wrapping his arms around her quivering form. She should’ve kept it together. She should’ve looked harder. She should be telling Henry not to slouch. But instead, she reached out and held his arms, accepting the comfort that was offered to her as she cried.

 

***

 

Both members of the Mills family slowly fell into a silent despair. Every waking moment, Regina cursed herself for not trying harder, for giving up so easily, for being so damn foolish as to think that Emma would miraculously show up at her door step. Every day Henry sat at the window, staring out it like he might be able to pull Emma to the house with the power of his gaze. Unable to see him waiting for a woman who might not ever show up, Regina hid herself away in her office like a coward. She lamented in her misery, lashing out at anyone around her as she built up walls so no one could see how much she was grieving.

 

Two weeks after calling Regina, David called off the hunt for his daughter. No one wanted to stop looking, but after two whole months of no leads and everyone busy looking for her, crime in Storybrooke was atrocious. Regina had argued something fierce with the sheriff’s department about that, but it ended anyways. Snow White, Prince Charming and the former Evil Queen were no longer speaking. They held a service for both Emma and Hook. The whole town—minus a still missing Ruby—showed up and there was open weeping as two coffins were buried side-by-side—one with someone in it, and one just trapping air.

 

Regina did not cry at the service. She felt like a fraud, a stranger at a stranger’s funeral. She knew in her heart of heart’s that Emma was still alive, but with no idea on where to look for her—surely she wouldn’t leave her family thinking she was dead?—she was forced to sit back and watched as the town pretended she was dead. The day after her service, the Daily Mirror had a front page article commemorating Emma and her life. Regina had thrown it in the fire before Henry could see it.

 

About a week after his mother’s “funeral”, Regina noticed Henry was acting strange. In the middle of the night, when Henry thought his mother was asleep—she rarely slept now, as her dreams were plagued with Emma Swan—she would hear him creep downstairs, clatter around the kitchen, open the back door and then the house would get quiet. Every time, just as Regina was beginning to grow afraid that Henry had just run away on her, she would hear the door open, and her boy would creep back into his room and sleep until morning. 

 

One night she decided to go to her window—which overlooked the backyard—and try to see if she would see what Henry was up to. She listened for him intently as the clock told her it was approaching midnight. Regina waited with baited breath as she heard her child begin to stir in his bed. She got up as he began his prowl around the kitchen, and readied herself at the window. She turned no lights on and she tucked herself behind the gray curtain in case he were to look up. 

 

She saw the back door open and then a flashlight beam split the yard in two. Henry set it on the snowy ground, placed one of Regina’s large mixing bowls nearby in the light, and sat down on the stump of the honey crisp apple tree Emma had cut down in her first week in being in Storybrooke.

 

She saw her boy’s face and stared at it in surprise for a moment. Gone was the depressed, vacant look he sported now; in it’s placed, _her son_. The face he sported whenever Emma was around. It was the joyous, happy expression that Regina craved to see on his handsome face. At first, she just basked in the fact that he was happy. But after a moment, she followed his eyes to the source of his happiness and almost balked. Standing above the mixing bowl, gulping great mouthfuls of whatever the contents of it were, was a large wolf. Not just any wolf either; a large, pale coated one with fur that almost appeared white and dancing green eyes.

 

Regina crawled back into bed and stared silently at the ceiling. Her heart was twisting painfully in her chest, just yet another reminder that she was sans Emma. She rolled over and feigned sleep as her son crept back into the house.

 

In the morning, she cornered him. “So,” she said, making her voice bright. She saw Henry shoot her a timid gaze and cursed herself inwardly. _Too bright_. Skipping right to the point, she smiled a knowing smile and asked, “So where have you been disappearing to all these nights?”

 

Her shaggy haired son froze as he reached into the fridge for a juice box. Turning around, he fixed his mother a guilty look from rich hazel eyes.

 

“You know about that?”

 

“Well I _know_ nothing about it,” she said, crossing her arms and leaning against the island counter. “But if you mean: did I watch you take one of my mixing bowls and sit outside for ten minutes while you fed a wolf by hand, then my answer is yes, yes I did.”

 

Henry mumbled something under his breath and stared at the ground.

 

“Speak up, Henry, you know how I feel about mumbling!”

 

“I said, ‘It wasn’t by hand!” He snapped, his eyes turning defensive as he glared at her now. “And so what that I do?”

 

“ _So what?_ Henry, you’re feeding a wild animal! Not just any wild animal, but probably the same one that killed Hook! What do you think you’re _doing_? Your school marks are going down the gutter, you get angry for no apparent reason, and now you’re feeding an animal that could kill you? Do you want to end up dead?”

 

“No!” Henry shouted, tears forming in his eyes. Regina opened her mouth to say something more when Henry took a wheezing breath and straightened his back. He scrunched up his face like the words he spat out next hurt him. “I feed the wolf because she reminds me of _her_ —” As of late he had avoided saying his birthmother’s name—“And I don’t want to let go of that! She has eyes like her, she listens like her, Mom, I _miss her_!”

 

The tears in his eyes ran unabashedly now and Regina was surprised to find some of her own in her eyes. “Oh, Henry,” she sighed, her whole body aching with how much she missed Emma Swan. “I miss her too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow @the-voice-in-the-dark on tumblr!
> 
> Keep up with the comments and kudos guys! I appreciate them :)


	7. Bring Her Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to the creators of Once Upon A Time.
> 
> I am headed out the door now to a four week program right now. I will have minimum internet, but I am bringing my tablet to continue writing. The updates will be slower now, I apologize. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

When Emma Swan woke up, she noticed three things. One: she was naked in the woods in a very unattractive way. Dirt and mud clung to every limb, and blood coated her fingers and nails thickly. She felt the same oily thickness on the ends of her hair and her chin which meant it was there too. Two: she was human again. Not the in between human that was more wolf than Emma, the human way she had been flitting in and out of this past week, but in a firm human way which begged her to find a shower quickly. And three: it was warm out. Not slightly warm as it had been the other times she had briefly been human, but warm warm. The warm that stuck Emma tightly in her skin and made it hard to believe she was ever a wolf. If she didn’t have the link in her mind that gave her fuzzy memories, she could’ve been dreaming. 

 

As she sat up, she realized she was not alone. She glanced over and found two wolves watching her intently. Ruby was calm, ears alert but not wary, while the other one didn’t seem so sure. The foggy memories her mind dredged up from the wolf’s thoughts showed her that this brown-black male was part of the pack and had become Emma’s steadfast hunting companion. He showed up from deeper in the wilds of Maine a few days after she—

 

Emma’s brow furrowed as she followed that hazy, flickering train of thought. She remembered it as though it were a long time ago. The hemlock tree, the man with the shining hook, her instinct to protect herself, her teeth in his throat.

 

 _Hook._ She almost staggered over as she realized that she had killed the man who was her boyfriend. She closed her eyes against the onslaught of memories, the happy times she had with him, spending quiet nights relaxing on the Jolly Roger. Rocking back and forth, she let the tears come. And then she screamed on the top of her lungs. The two wolves joined their strange pack member, lending their somber voices to her lament. She screamed until her voice died and then she stared at her hands in horror. Hands that hid killing claws underneath their soft flesh. _I am a monster_.

 

***

 

From downtown Storybrooke, Regina heard the scream. She was walking beside the library, having just visited Belle to find out what wolves eat. She had observed Henry every night since she first saw him feeding that strange green eyed wolf but lately, the wolf had seemed sick. From just inside the door—Regina didn’t have to hide the fact that she was watching, but didn’t dare venture outside either—she could see the small tremors that shook it’s body sometimes, and it appeared to be growing thinner. She wondered if perhaps the diet of ground beef and dog kibble that Henry had concocted was having a negative effect on the wolf’s well-being. 

 

When she heard the scream, she paused and frowned. It wasn’t a cry of pain or fear, just the sound of someone’s heart tearing and their soul flooding out. Regina was very familiar with that kind of scream. That was the only kind of scream she knew when Daniel had died, and again when Emma went missing. She made sure to muffle the latter to protect Henry. No one else seemed too worried about the noise, especially when the wolves joined in. Shrugging, she continued with her day, tucking that into the back of her mind for further investigation.

 

***

 

She waited until dark to cross the road. It wasn’t like she knew she was known as dead to half the town—she just had no clothes, was starving, and was horrified of the thought of running into her parents, or worse _Regina_ , wearing nothing but a really awkward smile. 

 

So she tried to recall enough of her wolf memory to act wolfish with the pack while she waited for the sun to sink. As the sky darkened, she began to feel less certain in her skin. The wolf was going to awaken if it got any colder and start prodding at her, trying to coax her to shift. But she was determined not to. It was spring, the snow was melting (and turning to ice beneath her numb feet with the dropping temperature) and she wanted to stay human. When her powerful hearing could detect no sound of cars on the road, she leapt out and began her trip into Storybrooke.

 

Emma kept to the shadows as Ruby the wolf taught her, and let her inner compass guide her to where she would be the safest. Which is how Granny ended up getting a soft knock on the door that led out to the alleyway behind her living quarters in the room, at midnight. The old woman, her hair full of curlers and her fingers wrapped tight around her crossbow eased the door open, the tip of the arrow just barely touching—

 

The underside of Emma Swan’s right breast.

 

“Oh, good heavens, girl!” Granny griped, lowering the crossbow and averting her gaze to the floor. “Would you please cover up... All of _that_?”

 

Without raising her eyes, she gestured to all of Emma’s nakedness.

 

“Hi,” Emma murmured, crossing an arm over her chest. “I actually don’t have clothes and I just turned human. I am a little bit scared I might change again” (Granny did notice the air seemed to have a cold bite to it) “and I am very hungry and in dire need of a shower. Can I come in?”

 

Granny now scowled, her fierce blue eyes lifting up to search Emma’s green ones for any sign of deceit. Unable to find any after a second, and not wanting to deal with a panicking unstable wolf, Granny opened the door further. 

 

“Come in. Warm up. Use Ruby’s shower so you don’t clog mine and I’ll fetch you some clothes. Then I’ll fix you up something to eat.”

 

“Thank you!” All of Emma’s breath—that she didn’t know she was holding—was released in one gust, formed as a relieved sentence of gratitude. She leapt through the doorway, into a room that was a few degrees warmer than what was outside. Granny pointed her in the direction of the shower and she was gone for a good solid hour.

 

When she emerged, damp blonde hair tossed over a shoulder and dressed in a pair of skinny jeans—that were a smidgen too tight—and a black leather jacket with a dark grey shirt underneath, Granny had a burger cooking and soup stewing on the oven.

 

“It’s just about finished,” she explained. You can take a seat beside the fireplace and I’ll fix this up for you.”

 

Emma nodded her thanks and stared into the fire, trying to imagine how long it had been since her last human escapade. “How long has it been?” She asked as Granny brought over her food on a tray. It was hardly set down before Emma pounced on it, inhaling the burger and guzzling the soup greedily.

 

“Easy, now, you’ll make yourself sick!” Granny chastised. Then she glanced out the window into the night. “It’s been three months since you’ve disappeared, and four weeks since you were declared dead.”

 

“Wait, what?” The blonde’s head snapped around and her green eyes examined Granny’s. “Everyone thinks I’m _dead_?”

 

“They found your blood on Hook’s hook. Everyone thought he stole you from your apartment and killed you before disposing of your body.”

 

“Oh my god!” Instantly, Emma felt slightly nauseous. “That’s horrifying! How are my parents? How are Regina and Henry?”

 

“Well, Regina and Henry are the only two people who don’t know the truth and think you’re still alive. Your parents are grieving but they are extra careful with Neal now. They spoil the boy rotten.”

 

Emma felt a sharp pang of jealousy towards her little brother for stealing their parents’ attention, but then she took a deep breath and let it go. They had no way of knowing she was still alive. But Regina... She sighed and tried to hide a small smile. She knew the mother of her son and her son would still believe in her. All she wanted to do was run straight for 108 Mifflin Street and never leave. But she had killed someone she loved. What if she killed someone else? What if she killed Henry or Regina? Or baby Neal? Her smile faded and she gulped.

 

Granny must have sensed her thoughts. The weathered lady took Emma’s hand gently and patted it.

 

“Do you think I could stay here for awhile? At least until I know I am firmly human enough to be around others?”

 

“Of course, dear.”

 

Together, they stared into the fire in silence.

 

***

 

The wolf didn’t come that night. Henry had been sitting out in the mild spring night until his shoulders shook and his teeth chattered. He waited for his friend to come from inside, but in the morning, it was the brown-black male who approached the mixing bowl, sniffed the food inside and swallowed all of it without a backwards glance towards the house. The golden wolf didn’t come the next night, or the night after, or the night after that. The other two wolves howled such a sad song that Regina knew without a doubt they were looking for their lost friend too.

 

The powerful woman felt a new disappointment dig it’s thorn into her heart. She had just found something that made Henry happy, and now even that was gone. She didn’t know what else she could do.

 

Four days after the first wolf disappeared, the other wolves stopped howling. She couldn’t comprehend the silence that followed, or the hole it left in her chest.

 

***

 

Four days after Emma became a human, Ruby and a mouse-haired man a bit younger than Emma appeared in the room in the basement that the blonde had been occupying away from prying eyes. She was surprised to see they were fully clothed, and not surprised at all that the man smelled like a wolf and had the darkest one’s dark amber eyes.

 

“Emma, this is Peter!” Ruby announced, a smile on her face. “He is my ex. I accidentally changed him when we broke up. Peter, this is Emma. She’s my best friend besides my girlfriend. I accidentally changed her when I got stuck in a dumpster.”

 

“Astonishing,” Peter chuckled. He had an easy laugh and a relaxed body. He was not a jealous ex, and in fact seemed quite proud of Ruby for finding someone to make her happy. He smiled a friendly smile at Emma and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you. Welcome to the pack.”

 

They shook hands and then the man looked around with a sigh. “It’s good to have my own skin again! I’ll get my old summer job again, renew the lease on my apartment, just enjoy whatever time I have.”

 

“So are we fully human now?” Emma asked.

 

Ruby and Peter shared a glance, twin smirks on their faces. 

 

“What?” She demanded.

 

“Well, _we_ are human for now unless it gets too cold, you’ll probably change a bit if your body is unbalanced. It’s all about getting used to the wolf. If you do change, you won’t be gone long, not with it so warm out. Probably an hour or two.”

 

“What about the sickness? The fever I had before I was a wolf?”

 

“That was the wolf working it’s way into your body. You won’t be getting very sick now.”

 

Emma nodded and worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “Do you know when you’re going to shift? Will I shift today?”

 

She saw Ruby’s nostrils flare and then the other girl offered her a sweet smile. “Emma, darling, how are you feeling?”

 

The blonde paused and then mentally sent out her consciousness to find the wolf. It was slumbering deep in the pit of her stomach, so far away that she hardly felt it. “Human,” she replied. “I shouldn’t shift today.”

 

“Good! Because I need you to come upstairs with me to meet Belle in fifteen minutes.”

 

***

 

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Emma murmured, hunching down in the booth in the corner. Her skin prickled, more for the fact that she was supposed to be dead and she didn’t want any eyes on her yet as opposed to the wolf inside of her.

 

“You’ll be fine!” Ruby dismissed her worries absent-mindedly, peering over the blonde’s shoulder to try to see the front door. “If you think you’re gonna change just say you’re going to the washroom, then slip down the hall behind the jukebox and it’ll take you to the top of the stairs. You can make it back to the room from there.”

 

The door chimed to welcome a new guest and Ruby tensed visibly across from Emma. “That’s her.”

 

The saviour could smell the apprehension in the air, radiating off of not only Ruby, but Belle too.

 

“What did you even tell her?”

 

Ruby shrugged, suddenly looking sheepish. “That me and you weren’t dead. And I wanted to meet her for a bite to eat. Stay here.”

 

Before Emma could stop her, Ruby swung up and exited to booth. She swayed a little on her feet as she observed her girlfriend. Emma whipped around to see Belle’s reaction. The other brunette was standing just inside the door, hands holding a white little purse. Her face was pale as the purse, her lips a tight little line and the blue in her eyes exaggerated greatly. The diner fell silent as people beheld their librarian’s expression, and quieter still when people spun around to see Ruby standing there looking like a spirit of the woods in her dark brown leather jacket and grey jeans. Emma observed the expression on her friend’s face and found it reminded her of the wolf—deep and wild.

 

Without a word, Ruby prowled over to Belle and then just stood there, taking her all in. “You look good,” she murmured, a hitch in her voice.

 

Some of Belle’s color returned, a touch of red in her cheeks. She clenched her hands tight and then without warned, slapped Ruby across the face. There were some gasps, but Ruby just stood there, staring at the ground where the force of the hit placed her line of sight.

 

“I guess I deserved that,” she said, not looking up.

 

“Ruby _look_ at me,” the Australian whispered, eyebrows drawing together. Slowly, as if afraid to frighten her true love, Ruby’s head turned back to the other girl. “You’re real!” 

 

 

Belle’s voice was nothing but a breath, but both Ruby and Emma heard it with their wolf ears. Ruby nodded slowly and then Belle was in her arms, holding the werewolf tightly against her body. Ruby hugged her back, face buried in wavy brown locks and then they broke apart. Hazel eyes met blue eyes, all the uncertain hesitancy of a couple who’ve been apart. It was Belle who broke the spell, leaning close and kissing Ruby with a fierce passion that the other brunette did not hesitate to return. There was some laughter and clapping, but then the citizens of Storybrooke returned to their meal. 

 

Emma smiled softly as they just stood there, not hiding their joy in anyway. The door opened and a small breeze flew through, carrying a familiar scent to the blonde in the back. Her whole body stiffened as coffee and cinnamon reached her nose, and she stared as a familiar dark haired woman walked in. The first thing those brown eyes landed on was the couple locked in an embrace. Ruby and Belle broke apart quickly.

 

“Oh, don’t mind me,” Regina said, starting to move passed them “Carry on with whatever—oh, Belle?” Then her eyes focused on the other woman. “ _Ruby?_ You’re alive?”

 

“Surprise,” Ruby muttered, a sheepish smile on her face. Emma just said there, stunned, as the mayor of Storybrooke looked around the rest of Granny’s Diner in disbelief. She sensed she was being watched and locked her eyes onto the farthest booth, where just the top of a blonde head was watching with sparkling green eyes.

 

The former sheriff tried to move, to do anything, but she was frozen to the spot by a voice, saying a name she so desperately wanted to hear leave those lips.

 

“ _Emma?_ ”

 

Closing her eyes, Emma took a deep breath and stood as well. She felt every eye on her now, much to her great chagrin. When she opened them again, bronze eyes were still staring at her, a fire in their depths. From just beyond Regina, Emma heard Ruby speak again.

 

“Double surprise?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr! @the-voice-in-the-dark
> 
> Thanks once more for the likes and comments!


	8. Show Us The Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight here is the update. Enjoy immensely guys hahaha
> 
> Disclaimer: All rights to the characters belong to the creators of Once Upon A Time.

For a moment, Regina just stared at Emma. Everything out of the survival she had stitched up to replace the blonde’s absence for her and Henry instantly ripped apart. She hurt all over, the aching strongest in her chest, as she longed to reach out to the woman she could never replace. She looked thinner, the Queen observed, her once filled out form now becoming wiry and tough. Her eyes were sunken in still, her cheek bones angled in a new way. A dozen new, small silver scars marked her beautiful ivory face from what Regina could see from across the diner.

The saviour just stood there, trying to decide between desperately wanting to stay and speak with the one person she’d longed to speak to since her sickness, or running away from all of the attention. She watched Regina warily, wondering her reaction as the brunette worked her gaping mouth shut and began to move towards her. She was within arm’s length. Emma blinked. How did she get there so fast?

“Em-ma?” Her name, still a question, spoken in two syllables sent a warm shudder through her body. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply the wonderfully delectable scent of Regina. She didn’t know a hand was reaching towards her until she opened her eyes and saw that perfect hand, belonging to that perfect woman, stretched out near her cheek. Alarm flickered through her as she took a small step backwards.

The rejection of her touch smarted Regina in a way she didn’t know. She stared into those pine green depths, reading the emotions she hid there. Briefly they flickered over to Ruby, almost as if asking permission. From this angle, with the attention off of herself, Regina noticed how uncannily wolf Emma’s eyes were.

Ruby nodded, answering Emma’s silent question of _Is it safe?_ before turning back to Belle. Emma turned her eyes once more to Regina and then nodded towards the hall with the jukebox. She flipped on her heel and trotted away, glancing back every now and then to look at Regina.

Even without the former sheriff saying anything, Regina knew she wanted to be followed. So she followed. Emma led her through a narrow, mint green hallway that opened up to a landing for a staircase, a back door, and an entrance way to the living quarters of Granny and Ruby. The younger woman paused at the top of the stairs and spun to face Regina. Her sharp eyes did a once over of her friend and then she nodded.

“It’s good to see you.” Regina’s emotions seemed to boil up all at once. There was anger, sadness, relief, disappointment, concern, shock and surprise to name a few.

“Don’t speak,” she growled, glaring at the stoic woman before her. “You don’t have the privilege of small talk until you explain to me what the hell happened to you, Miss Swan!”

She saw Emma flinch at the name spat her. A small, sick part of herself revelled in the fact she could still hurt this woman who had hurt her so much.

“It’s hard to explain—”

“Don’t give me that! _Hard to explain_ is having to reassure your thirteen year old son over and over again that his mother abandoning him for a second time wasn’t his fault. _Hard to explain_ is going on _countless_ search parties for a woman who disappeared from what appeared to be her deathbed. _Hard to explain_ is finding the lover of said woman ripped in pieces by wolves, then finding her DNA on him. _Hard to explain_ is burying a coffin for your best friend who you just know is alive, but no one will believe you. So no, Emma, it isn’t hard to explain. I need answers. What. Happened?”

She could see how much damage what she was saying was inflicting on the woman in front of her, but she had to know. If not for herself, for the sake of their son.

“Not here,” the other woman rasped, not meeting Regina’s eyes. “Come with me.”

Once again, the former Queen followed the taller woman as she headed down the stairs and led the way to a small room in the corner. As Emma opened the door, Regina was blown away by the smell. The stench of wet-dog clung in the air, hanging over the scent of Emma in the room, though it would appear it was her living quarters. A small wardrobe in the corner was flung open revealing articles of Emma’s clothes, the threadbare bed on the other wall looking rumpled and broken in. In fact, she could even see the shape of the blonde’s body where the dying mattress folded to the curves of her form. The unnerving part of the room was the deep claw marks gouged into the cinder blocks and the back side of the closed door.

“Did you get yourself a dog, too?” Regina asked, her voice catching as the dry sting of the fact that Emma had been hiding so close sunk in.

“What?” Her green eyes followed the brown ones to the scratches. “Oh, no. That was me.”

“So, what, you’ve been hiding out under Granny’s this whole time? Never thought of letting your son know that you were alive and well?”

“I wasn’t always here. I was in the woods, too,” she sighed. “And I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t, dear?”

This earned her a glare. “ _Couldn’t_. Don’t think for a second I wouldn’t have!”

“Then explain to me why you never tried!”

“What’s the point? You would never believe me!”

The mayor laughed a dark and humorless laugh. “Try me. I’m the Evil Queen after all; I shouldn’t exist. Can’t be as bad as that.”

Emma ran a hand through her hair and sighed through her nose, staring at Regina with those unreadable green eyes. She calmly stared back, willing herself to not fall in the pools of relief they were offering. In fact, she was staring so hard, she thought she misheard when Emma spoke.

“I am a wolf.”

Emma watched those bronze eyes go blank for half a second, hoping the light would turn on for the other woman. Then Regina blinked and scowled incredulously. “What?”

“I’ve been missing because I have been in the woods. As a wolf. Well, I haven’t always been in the woods. I mean, I did come when Henry put the food out.”

Regina recalled those sparkling green eyes staring out at her from the body of a wolf, how Emma they appeared. But lycanthropy... No that was impossible. So she continued to stare, and then a small, cruel smile played on her lips.

“Well, go on then.”

Emma raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side, baffled. “What?”

“Show me.”

“Show you what?”

“Your wolf!”

Emma huffed and began to pace, playing with her hair while doing so. “It’s not that easy!”

“Right. Okay, I’ll play. Why not?”

“It’s based on temperature. It’s too warm to be a wolf right now.”

“Sure.” Regina’s eyes grew cold, her mouth twisted in a bitter line. Her heart couldn’t comprehend this—why was Emma teasing her about the wolf that kept visiting her yard? Did she think she was that gullible? “Well I think this game has gone on quite long enough, don’t you, Miss Swan? What’s the real reason you couldn’t come back?”

Emma sighed, her shoulders drooping in defeat. Why didn’t Regina believe her? She recalled hazy memories of Henry sitting outside on cold nights, his fingers wrapped around an uncooked lump of meat. She remembered him tossing the meat in the snow at her paws while just beyond him, Regina kept a watchful eye. She had seen Emma in her other body. How come it was so hard to believe?

So Emma tilted her head up and met Regina’s eyes again. This time the green pools there were filled with regret and sadness.

“I killed Hook.”

***

After a brief, forced—by Emma—phone call with David explaining that his daughter was not, in fact, dead and was very much alive and guilty of a crime, Regina stood in the basement room, flicking invisible dirt off her crisply ironed pencil skirt and watching Emma carefully. She could hardly believe Henry’s other mother was here, let alone sitting on a ragged bed, slowly crumpling into herself. Her heart pulled with longing. All the mayor wanted to do was hug the younger woman, hold her tightly and shelter her until everything got better, but the sting of Emma’s mockery, and the fact the blonde disliked a lot of physical contact held her back.

So they sat in silence. Until pattering footsteps upstairs along with a shout of “Emma!” echoed down to them.

“I will go get them. Don’t go anywhere, dear.” Regina winced as her voice came out colder than she meant, but she hid her emotion as Emma’s face crumbled even more.

“Okay,” she mumbled. The brunette waited for a moment to see if she would say anything more, but her gaze was blank as she stared at the floor.

The Queen shut the door and marched upstairs, where the Two Idiots were scouring through Granny’s. The diners seemed a little apprehensive, but when Regina made an appearance, they turned back to their food.

“She’s this way,” she said, watching Snow and David exchange suspicious glances. The former pulled baby Neal closer to her body and the latter stood slightly in front of his family. It wasn’t enough to come across as a threat, but it was enough for Regina to see she was mistrusted. “Oh, none of that. I won’t hurt you, I am taking you to your daughter. You know. Emma Swan? The Saviour?”

“Cut it out, Regina.” David’s voice was tired, weary. He nodded to her. “Show us the way.”

She dipped her head slightly, just enough to show affirmation without losing the regal posture of the queen she was. “Right this way.”

She neatly spun around and strutted down the hall, leading the Charmings to their daughter in the basement. When she opened the heavy, claw-gouged door, Regina was surprised to see Emma standing in the middle of the room.

“ _Emma_!” Regina winced as Snow’s voice broke. She set the little two year old boy down—he wanted to explore anyways—and then rush towards Emma, arms open for a hug.

“I’d rather you not touch me,” she muttered, wringing her hands and stepping out of the trapping embrace of Mary Margaret’s hug. Regina felt a small sliver of cruel satisfaction. At least it wasn’t only her touch that the blonde was rejecting.

“Where have you—”

Emma shook her head and held up her hand, interrupting David as he spoke. “There’s no time. I need you to listen to me. I killed Hook. I confess and I am guilty. I am turning myself over.”

She held her pale wrists up facing the ceiling. As her father began to object, shaking his head and taking a step back, Emma stared at him, her eyes intense and digging. “David you know it has to be done. Cuff me and take me to the station. We can chat more once I am behind bars.”

A tiny tremor ran through her. Too small for the others to see, only enough for her to feel. There was a twisting sensation in her stomach that made her restless. A shift was coming. If what Ruby said was true, and she would only shift for a few hours, then she would be safe in the sheriff’s station. It was a Sunday, no night shifts. She would keep her secret a secret for longer and be safe until morning.

David unwillingly obliged, bringing out the cuffs and stating in a monotone voice her rights. All the while she stared at Regina, who refused to make eye contact. She silently willed her to look up, shouting _look at me! Look at me!_ in her mind. David gingerly took her arm and began to lead her out of the room. As she was passing the threshold, Regina looked up. Their eyes met and Emma paused, feeling all the unspoken emotions radiating off of her and knowing she was doing the same. Emma smiled, a soft unguarded smile.

“Thanks for watching out for me, all those nights,” she whispered, a knowing twinkle in her eyes. “You know where to find me. If you want to talk.”

Regina opened her mouth to say something, probably something sharp and uncalled for, but Emma didn’t give her the chance to reply. Instead, she dipped her head and continued on her way.

It wasn’t until later that night that Regina sat up in bed in a cold sweat. She never told Emma about feeding the wolf.


	9. Pocket Full of Sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how many of you have caught on that the chapter titles are names of songs or song lyrics...
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the way the words are written. All characters belong to the creators of Once Upon a Time.

The next morning, the sound of the clicking of heels echoed in the sheriff’s station and announced Regina’s presence. Ruby swivelled in the office chair and turned to face the door. When the mayor paced into the room, Ruby’s stress level increased immediately. Regina’s anger was so thick, the wolf could almost taste it.

“Where is she?” The woman hissed, glaring at the hazel eyed brunette who sat in the chair where Emma was supposed to sit. Behind her, the holding cell where the blonde was supposed to be lay empty with no sign of her. She had gotten a call from the sheriff’s station shortly after dropping Henry off for school, telling her to hurry over. Emma was missing. _Again_.

“We don’t know,” David sighed, answering for Ruby. He looked up from the computer he sat at, and Regina could see the worry lines on his face. “The surveillance shows nothing.”

He rubbed his brow and then turned the monitor around and pressed a button. A fuzzy image appeared, Emma in the cell. He pressed another button and the video began to speed by fast. Emma pacing, Emma sitting, Emma watching the camera. At one point, Emma grabbed the bars and tilted her head back, but with the blurriness and the lack of color in the film there was no way of knowing what she was doing. And just after her strange position, the camera went black.

“See? Someone tampered with the film. It happens sometimes, a kid breaks in wants to pull a prank. But now they just erased any hope we had of finding her.”

“What?” She whispered, frowning. Turning to Ruby, she saw a knowing gleam in her eye. Regina stood over her, arms raised on either side of her head and leaned close, inches away from her face. “Tell me what you know.”

Not a question, an order.

Ruby smirked. “I know nothing more than you know.”

Not an answer, a challenge.

Before Regina could bark a response, David replied.

“The only reason she is here is because she is the best tracker besides Snow. I can’t say anything to her or it will break her heart. We will find Emma before the school day is over and there will be no need to worry.”

“So, why did _I_ receive this urgent call then?” Suspicious brown eyes darted from Ruby to Charming and back.

The dusty haired man crossed his arms over his chest and observed Regina with raised eyebrows. Her hackles lifted in uncertainty.

“What?” She snapped.

“Regina, while we might not be close, I saw the way you used to look at her. The way you looked at her yesterday. I’m not oblivious the way my daughter is.”

“Oh? Enlighten me then, how do I look at your daughter?”

“You look at her the way a blind man who sees color for the first time looks at the world. Like you’ve been underwater for a long time and she is the first breath of fresh air you breathe into craving lungs. Like you are awakening after a long time asleep. You look at her like a hero who has returned from war. Like you built the sun for her in your tool shed. Like you love her. Like it hurts.”

The mayor almost staggered back at how close to home David hit. How he perfectly summarized the care, the passion, the hurt she felt for his idiot daughter. _Her_ idiot. She stared at the floor as she said, “You’re right.”

“Then will you help us look for her?” She never knew his voice could be so gentle. Without a word, she nodded. “Good! We will split up to cover more ground. I’ll take downtown, Ruby you take uptown, Regina conquer the woods. Okay?”

“Alright,” said Ruby, staring up at Regina, that light in her eyes again.

“Yes,” said Regina, glaring at the infuriating brunette.

David didn’t reply as he stalked out the door, slamming it in his haste to search for his daughter. Once he was gone, Regina got right to the point.

“You know something.”

“You bet I do,” she replied, rolling something around in her fingers. She debated for a moment, and then held out a memory stick to Regina.

“What’s this?”

“What really happened last night,” Ruby replied, setting the stick on the desk. She got up and grabbed her large red purse before rummaging through it. “I was there, she called me through the link. I wiped the footage, but I saved it on that—” she pointed to the USB stick—“for you. She says you know, but you need proof. Well there is your proof.”

Regina hesitantly picked up the stick and flipped it around in her fingers. Did she really want to know? “So if this is proof of her turning into a wolf, why did you wipe it?”

The younger woman twitched her nose and shrugged. “She requested it. She wants her parents to know when she is ready to tell them. She’s not ready.”

The mayor was tempted. All she had to do was plug it into the computer and the truth would be revealed. But what if this was all a joke? So she stalled. “How do you know what she is, Ruby?”

There was a laugh and Red rolled a shoulder. “Who do you think changed her? Now quit stalling and watch the video.”

With a sigh, Regina plugged in the device. She waited until the old computer read that something was plugged in, then pulled up the USB’s file. Only one thing sat there. A video clip titled “PROOF”. The mayor hovered the mouse over it, but hesitated. Did she _really_ want to know? With an impatient sigh, the brunette with the red streak in her hair reached across Regina and clicked the mouse. Instantly the video was brought up.

It was the same video as before, Emma pacing, Emma sitting, Emma staring at the camera. Then when she lifted her head, instead of going black it continued. Emma came crashing to the floor, whole body trembling. Regina sat rigid as the tremors got bigger and stronger. When she was lying sideways on the ground, trembling with her legs cycling, was when Ruby showed up in the frame. The brunette crouched beside the blonde and they appeared to be having a conversation. Before Regina even had time to blink, she watched as a wolf materialized where Emma had been.

“ _What_?” The Latino leaned forward, peering at the blurry wolf on the screen as it paced the length of the cage. When Emma-turned-wolf was farther from Ruby, she reached in and pulled back with Emma’s stretched out clothes. Then she turned and left the shot. Almost as soon as she did, the wolf in the cell pawed at the bars until she found she could fit her head through the space between a pair of them. Then all she had to do was squeeze her body out, leap up on a filing cabinet and out through a window that was stuck permanently ajar, ripping the screen and forcing the window up further.

“Luckily she didn’t cause too much damage, but that screen was a bitch to replace at five in the morning. I managed to find a spare one in Granny’s, but don’t tell her I replaced it with a busted one. She will throw a fit.”

Regina couldn’t say anything. She was staring, jaw slack, at the computer screen where she had just witnessed the woman she loved turn into a wolf. Her mouth moved before she could stop it. “I’ve got to find her.”

“Then you will need these,” Ruby said. She jolted into the moment and looked up where the wolf was holding a pair of jeans and a sweater. “If I were you, I would check by the Troll Bridge. She really likes it there.”

Regina nodded, jaw still slack heart still in shock, and accepted the sweater and jeans before hurrying out to her car. _I’ve got to find her._

***

Underneath the Troll Bridge, Emma the wolf was pacing restlessly as her body tried to pitch her from one form to the next. She tried to fight it, wanting to run forever through the woods and howl with her pack, but in the end, the shift won. She was thrown to the ground, shaking in the shallow water and rocks as her fur melted away and her newly exposed human body flashed the sun.

She knew she had to move, had to get out of the freezing spring water, but it was so _cold_! And she was so _tired_! So she closed her eyes and wondered if the wolf would take her back in her sleep.

***

It took Regina ten minutes to find Emma. She reached the Troll Bridge in record time, hardly stopping the Mercedes before she leapt out, calling Emma’s name as loud as she could.

“Where the hell are you?” She whispered, climbing down the side of the embankment of the river as best as she could in her heels. She almost went crashing down, but luckily for her, she had all the grace and poise of a queen. She managed to stay on her feet as she hit the uneven ground of the riverbed. “Emma!”

All around her was the forest, the grass, the trees, the melting snow, the white rocks, the muddy water. Then a small groan echoed from behind her, underneath the old concrete bridge. A pale body coated in grime and mud was just on the edge of the sunlight, blonde hair streaming in the shallow water that raced under her head. Her green eyes locked onto Regina’s and a hand reached out to her.

“Emma!” If she hadn’t had her heels on she would’ve ran. Instead she hurried over at a dignified trot and knelt beside the girl. She was aware of her nakedness, but there were small trembles racing through her body which made Regina ignore the minor detail of her nudity and focus on her face. She very gently wiped the soft blonde strands away from Emma’s eyes and cleared off the mud from her cheeks. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“Gina,” the blonde whispered, in that way of hers that warmed the brunette’s heart. Her eyes flickered shut and she leaned into the hand on her cheek. “Losing... Human. Don’t let me...”

Her voice drifted away into an animalistic groan of pain. She rolled into Regina’s lap and hid her face against the mayor’s abdomen as another shudder travelled the length of her body.

“Don’t let you what?” Her brows furrowed in concern. She hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing small circles to try to comfort the girl. A small cry of pain echoed from the woman she loved, and Regina winced as small cracks echoed from her body. Something writhed under Emma’s skin. Quickly, she retracted her hand. “What is that? Does it hurt?”

“Not... Really!” Emma hissed, teeth clenched and eyes squeezed shut. “Bones are... Changing—owwww! Trying to... Fight the wolf!”

Realization dawned on Regina in an instant. _She’s becoming a wolf._ She hurriedly gathered Emma into her arms, surprised at how little she seemed to weigh, and climbed her way back to the car. She almost dropped Emma a couple of times, but managed to make it to the car before her thrashing drove herself out of Regina’s arms. Once in the passenger seat, she restrained Emma’s jerks with the seatbelt. Even so, the girl curled up into fetal position and whimpered. The sound, a sound of a creature filled with helpless pain, jerked at Regina’s heartstrings.

“It’s alright, Emma,” she whispered, running a hand soothingly down the girl’s white back which was facing her. She almost balked as she witnessed the vertebrae pulsing and changing, slowly and painfully. “I will take you to Ruby, she will know what to do.”

“ _No_ ,” Emma groaned, turning her head to look at Regina. The look in her eyes was one of desperation. “Please, they know where to look for me. Just take me home. Gina. Your home. For a couple of hours until I am... Human again.” She flinched again and moaned in pain.

“Fight it, Emma,” she whispered back, taking the blonde’s face in both of her hands and forcing her eyes to look at her face. “Fight it for me.” _I just got you back._

She nodded and brought her head closer. Regina’s heart leapt in surprise, unsure whether or not she was going to be kissed in this moment. Instead, Emma touched foreheads with the mayor and they just sat there for a few... Seconds? Minutes? Days? Regina was aware of a wet-dog smell coming off of Emma that she realized must be the scent of wolf to a human nose. Emma looked deep into Regina’s eyes and sighed softly. Regina just spent the time memorizing Emma’s irises, the way the green was a muddled mix of blue and green, with little brown flecks near the pupil. How much those eyes resembled a pine forest from a distance, they now appeared like a wild mountain pool. When the blonde closed her eyes, Regina felt like her world got a lot dimmer.

She blinked a couple times and looked away as Emma backed up, fiddling with the heat switch with bloated fingers. Regina turned them on high and faced all the heat registers towards Emma. She put her foot on the gas and hoped beyond hope that the wolf would stay human until they got to the house.


	10. Heavy In Your Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title thanks to Florence and the Machine
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the way the words are written. All character rights belong to the creators of Once Upon a Time.
> 
> Enjoy peeps

Miraculously, the shift held off. Emma fumbled her way into the jeans and sweater Ruby left for her while Regina drove home and by the time they reached her grandiose house, Emma’s bones had re-solidified back in human form. All she had to do was sleep off the pain.

Which was how she ended up passing out on Regina’s couch while the other woman perched regally beside her to keep an eye on her. Most of her day was foggy memories; soft hands caressing her skin if she awoke from a nightmare, kind chocolate eyes smiling at her as they coaxed her to eat, a warm voice soothing her as a blanket was tucked around her gently. Her memories from the shift were in icy clarity. How close she had been to being a wolf, how lucky she was that Regina found her.

Her eyes snapped open in an instant. Oh God, she had let _Regina_ touch her. The one person, it seemed, that her heart belonged to had held her during a shift. While she was _naked_ none the less. Minor detail aside, she drove her mind back to that moment, trying to piece together what the scattered wolf thoughts drifting through her head meant. Each one had said the same thing, driving the simple concept through her like a mantra; _escape, escape, escape_. She gulped and tried not to think about if she had not been able to hold off the shift. But still, the what-ifs circled in her head. What if she had shifted in Regina’s arms? What if in the wolf’s blind panic she reached out and attacked? What if she had killed Regina?

She shook her head to clear it of the last thought. Her wolf was reasonable. As long as nothing threatened her space, she was fine. She just didn’t want to hurt anyone by accident.

Before she could ponder the issue more, a familiar face appeared in the room. Henry’s face split in a smile of joy a second before he rushed over yelling, “Emma!”

She didn’t know how to react as the teenaged boy leapt on her, wrapping his arms around her neck and squeezing tight. Emma squeezed back just as tight, her eyes closed as she breathed in the comforting scent of her son, one that she hadn’t seen in three months. “Hey kid,” she croaked.

He leaned back and smiled his perfect, happy smile at her. “Where have you been? We’ve been looking for you. Or at least we were until Gramps called off the hunt. Everyone thought you were dead. But mom and I, we knew the truth.”

“Oh?” Seeing Regina leaning against the doorframe, Emma shot her a look of concern. Regina shook her head, relaxing Emma’s worries with a calming gesture. She turned back to the boy, who was searching her face intently, as if memorizing all it’s minuscule details. “What’s the truth then?”

“That you had something on your mind when you were sick and that you needed to figure it out. It’s okay, Ma, I don’t blame you for hiding. But next time you up and leave, can you at least tell _us_ so that we aren’t worried about you?” Before she could even reply, he frowned at her face, just below her eyes. “How did you get all these scars?”

“Long story, kid,” she sighed, starting to get up. “I will tell it to you one day. Now don’t you have homework or something to be working on?”

From the doorway came a luxurious chuckle. “Who are you and what have you done with Emma Swan?” Regina asked in mock shock. Emma snorted and shot her a grin while Henry rolled his eyes good naturedly.

“You two and your strange obsession with me getting my homework done right when I walk through the door.” He clomped over to his bag in the other room and pulled out his math homework. Emma sauntered over and leaned up against the threshold, very conscious of the woman just inches away from her. _Oh, God, I am in love with Regina Mills._

“Is it such a bad thing that we want our son to succeed in school?” Regina pointed out, hand on her hip as she stared at the thirteen year old skulking at the kitchen table.

“Plus, once it’s done you have the whole night to do whatever you want,” Emma added, arms crossed over her chest.

Henry muttered and his brunette mother bristled. “Don’t talk back to your mother.” She cast a swift glance over to Emma. “Or your mother.”

“Easy,” Emma whispered, reaching a hesitant finger out and drawing it down Regina’s bicep closest to her until the tense muscles relaxed. As she leaned towards Emma’s touch, the blonde remembered the car incident—how close she had come to kissing Regina, how insecure she felt—and shrunk away. She saw that the rejection stung for the mayor, but Emma wasn’t confident with her grip on the wolf and didn’t want Regina’s touch sending her into a tailspin and losing control on the animal within. She wasn’t sure just how her shifts were regulated just yet.

 _I refuse to kill someone I love_. The thought shook her and Emma took a step back, aware of Henry’s eyes on her.

“You’ll stay here a bit, right, Ma? I’ll have my whole family here in one place?” His voice was vulnerable, his hazel eyes large and soft.

_I am a monster. I have to get out of here._

Emma threw on a smile.

“Of course.” Her eyes darted to Regina’s. “Unless I have over stayed my welcome?”

“You are always welcome here, dear,” Regina replied. There was no fire behind her words, however, and her eyes looked through Emma rather than at her.

“Then I will stay right here. I promise.” She willed for Regina to sense how much she cared about her in her words. But the brunette didn’t even look up.

_Monster._

_You just sentenced them to death._

Henry beamed at her again and then pulled out a pencil and began to tackle his homework. Regina quietly slipped out of the kitchen to hide her disappointment. The woman she loved sat beside their son, painfully oblivious to how much Regina cared for her. She didn’t know what was worse—Emma missing, or Emma here but undeniably unreachable?

***

Three nights after Emma arrived, she awoke in the oily blackness of a time between midnight and dawn with the sickness of an imminent shift looming over her head. She hardly had time to comprehend where she was—the guest bedroom of Regina’s house—before the wolf took over and shredded her sleep shirt and panties as it made it’s appearance. For a blessed few minutes she held onto her human mind.

_You’re safe. You are in a house. It is Regina’s._

She repeated the mantra in her head as the wolf paced along the room. She felt the edges of panic trying to grip her rapidly changing brain, but she fought back, repeated the words until they began to lose meaning.

_You safe. In house. Regina’s._

_Safe. House. Regina’s._

_Safe. Regina._

_Regina_

She growled softly, clawing at the creamy white walls. Her ears fanned back and the air whistled through her muzzle. She didn’t understand the human words stuck in her brain.

_Regina_

An image formed in her animal mind, a fuzzy picture of a she-man. She didn’t understand but she felt drawn to this woman and her dark hair and her sharp eyes. She felt the warmth of an emotion wolves do not have a word for. But with it brought a snapshot of safety, warmth, and comfort.

_Home._

_Regina home._

_Regina_

She had to find Regina. The wolf nosed the white slat where fresh scents drifted in from under it. Luckily the door wasn’t shut tight, so she had no problems pushing her way out to the hall. Once more the wolf quaked at all the humanness around her, but once more the word pushed forth her bravery.

_Regina_

She took a deep whiff of the air, sorting the scents in her brain. There was the woods-and-rain scent that belonged to the man-cub who fed her in the winter. An alluring smell of food coming to her from down the half-planks—“stairs” she remembered—almost sent her careening off her planned path. But as she took a step, another trail crossed her radar. The sharp, warm smell of the man-cub’s leader. She froze instantly and lined up her eyes with the smell.

_Regina_

All thoughts of food vanished. She had to find Regina. Her brain was howling at her, telling her _Man! Not safe! Death, destruction! Run!_ but she was being tugged along by something that she didn’t recognize. Her paws dragged forward, unwillingly at first, then more so as she pictured the woman in her head. She ignored her instinctual fear of humans as she followed the scent, wanting to cure this incessant pull.

***

Regina woke to muffled noises echoing down the hall from the guest bedroom where Emma was staying. Regina was familiar with her mutterings and usual slumbering sounds—how could she sleep with a ghost under her roof?—but these were new. There was a thump, then silence. Then something reverberated through the house. A growl.

The mayor sat up in bed, wondering if she should go check on her guest, when there was the creak of the guest room door being opened. It was followed by the unmistakeable _tick-tack_ sound of claws on the floor. Regina’s heart sunk. Emma was a wolf again. She lay back down on the bed, wondering what to do. She and Emma often talked about what it was like as a wolf, but they had never discussed what to do should she shift in the house at 2:30 in the morning.

Regina froze as her bedroom door swung open, letting a sliver of dark blue from the house in to her black cave. She saw a large shape lope into the room and heard it snuffle around, headed closer for her. The musky scent of wolf overpowered her nose and she closed her eyes, willing her heart rate to slow down. She had never been afraid of the wolves in the Enchanted Forest, and enjoyed watching their fleeting shapes flicker in and out of the trees occasionally. But it was a different story when the wolf was in her room and her slumbering son was a room away.

Something cold touched her cheek. Regina simultaneously shrunk away and leapt out of bed, reaching for the lamp. There was a scramble of claws as a soft pool of light illuminated the room and in the blink of an eye, Regina was staring at Emma’s eyes reflected back to her in the body of a wolf. The wolf leaned away from the light, ears at the side, long limber legs tense, tail tucked. Her long muzzle was pointed towards Regina while the rest of her body was angled away.

“You really shouldn’t sneak up on people in the dark, Emma,” she sighed, sitting down on her bed. Her voice and movements combined sent the wolf jumping back a fraction, but then the golden animal perked her ears and sniffed intently at the air. Regina watched in amusement, able to see for a moment a scared stray dog instead of her beloved-turned-wolf. Not thinking, she held out her hand, palm up and extended away from her. The wary wolf watched intently. “Well, go on, I won’t hurt you.”

Her ears were pointed forward in interest. She crept closer to the human and tentatively reached out her head, sniffing Regina’s outstretched hand. The mayor reveled in the experience, staring in wonder at Emma’s pine green eyes—sharpened with the knowledge of a predator—as they examined her hand. Her fingers where tickled by the delicate black whiskers growing around her muzzle. She memorized the swirl of colors that made up Emma’s pelt—the golden blonde that mixed with white around her legs and shoulders, the intricate black markings around her eyes, the black tipped tail, the beautiful small silver hairs by her muzzle and down her back. Emma was a beautiful wolf.

She smiled as a pink tongue darted out and lapped at Regina’s hand.

“What a strange wolf you are,” she whispered, lying back down. Emma whined softly, then gathered her legs and leapt onto the bed. She curled up pressed tightly to Regina, who could feel the warmth radiating through her fur and the blankets. Again she smiled. _Just this once_ , she thought. She turned off the lamp and relaxed. Her eyes closed and she fell asleep with a wolf keeping watch beside her. She never felt more safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any feedback, let me know! I always love to hear it! :)


	11. Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title thanks to a great song by P!nk
> 
> Do I need to put the disclaimer? If y'all have actually read the notes this far, you understand.
> 
> It's shorter but it is a good chapter for yas. Keep leaving the feedback!

  
An unfamiliar weight resting across her shoulder blades woke Regina the next morning. Instantly her whole body tensed up and her conscience was on high alert. Her head slowly swiveled around and her eyes landed on a wonderful sight. She pinched herself, just to make sure it wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t.

Emma Swan was lying naked on top of her sheets, her breasts and taught abs exposed to the world, her arm resting on her stomach, the other flung across Regina’s back. For a moment, Regina just sat there and watched the even rise and falls of Emma’s stomach as she breathed. But then the unthinkable happened.

A sneeze rocketed through the blonde haired girl and her beautiful green eyes opened—to watch Regina watching her. For a second, her eyes were blank. Then recognition filled them, along with confusion.

“Miss Swan,” Regina snapped, cheeks blazing. “I highly suggest you cover... All of your indecency this instant!”

Emma frowned and then glanced down at her body. Her eyes went wide and she shot up instantly.

“Whoa!” She bellowed, practically leaping from the bed. She did a funky chicken dance then looked up at Regina, saw her watching and slapped her hands over her pelvic area and breasts before dropping down. “ _Whoa!_ ”

“Oh please, relax! God, you act as if I have never seen a naked woman before!” Regina shouted right back, before yanking off a sheet and tossing it her way. She avoided looking at Emma so she wouldn’t see the lie in her eyes. She _was_ , in fact, the first naked woman she had seen that she was attracted to. “Use that to cover up.”

Emma begrudgingly wrapped herself in the grey silk sheet, tucking the stray edge in around her chest. She frowned up at Regina. “I’m not supposed to be here.”

“Indeed you are not. So why are you?”

“I...” She trailed off and glanced out the window. The blank look was back in her eyes.

“You can’t remember?” Regina's voice was sharper than she intended. She bunched the blankets up around her chest and stared at Emma.

Emma winced. “Not exactly? I mean, I remember bits and pieces, but it’s all different. It’s like it’s in a different format. Y’know?”

“Vaguely. Continue.”

“Gina, should we really do this now? I mean what if Henry—”

“What if I what?” Came a sleepy mumble from the doorway. Both women snapped their eyes to the door where the teenager stood, sleepily rubbing his eyes. Emma shot a panicked look at Regina and saw her face working as she tried to form a sentence. The silence seemed to wake Henry up. His eyes sharpened in an instant and darted between Emma, standing in the middle of the room with a grey sheet wrapped around her, and Regina, sitting in bed with the blankets bunched around her chest. Then his eyes noticed what Emma was in and they became wide as moons.

“Oh my god!” He shouted and turned around to stare at the wall, cheeks red. “Did not need to see that!”

“See what? I’m covered, nothing showing.” Emma scoffed.

“Henry, what are you doing up?” Regina asked, voice wary.

“I heard shouting. I thought something was wrong so I got up and... Oh god! Do I even want to know what’s been going on in here all night?”

“Henry.” Regina’s voice was soft, softer than Emma had ever heard it before. The blonde’s heart tugged as she watched the mayor’ face melt into an expression she saved just for Henry. Looking up at Emma, she nodded her head once. “There’s been something we’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“And don’t worry, it’s safe to look,” Emma added.

With those words, the lanky boy turned around, his eyes curious and wary. Emma took a deep breath and sighed softly, wondering where to begin. The bed shifted as Regina got out and padded softly to Emma’s side, reaching out a hand and squeezing her shoulder in support. This time she didn’t pull away.

“Alright here’s the thing.” She cleared her throat and tossed her blonde hair over one shoulder, instinctively moving towards Regina. “I’m gonna tell you something super important and I need you not to get mad at me. Okay? Okay. So. It may same a bit strange to you, but I’m—”

“Dating my mom,” Henry finished for her, dead certainty in his voice. The words _I’m a werewolf_ trailed away from Emma’s mouth in shock. “I know. And I wouldn’t be mad because I know she’s with the right person. I am glad you finally told me, though.”

“ _What!_ ” Emma blurted out. Her eyes sought Regina’s and she didn’t notice that a hand was in her own until she was squeezing it tight. Regina was in a state of shock, staring at Henry with unreadable eyes, her mouth hanging slightly open, her hand squeezing Emma’s just as tight. Seeing the boy’s other mother wasn’t going to say anything, Emma turned back to him. “How are you so sure that’s what I was going to say?”

Henry shot her a withering look. “Ma, please. I see the way you two look at each other when the other isn’t looking. I live here too, and I see the way you avoid physical touch around me. I’m not blind, I just wanted you to come to me in your own time. And besides. If it weren’t true, wouldn’t you have denied it already?”

She opened her mouth to say, _no, no you have this all wrong_ , when another voice spoke up.

“You’re right.” Regina’s voice was so quiet, so vulnerable. Now it was Emma’s turn to be shocked. She rounded on Regina, staring at the woman who refused to meet her eyes as she stared at their son with her jaw on the floor. She stood next to Emma, leaning against her shoulder. All the muscles in Emma’s body stiffened as she tried to resist the temptation to bend her head to Regina’s soft black locks and take a closer whiff of them. “We are together.”

“Gina—”

Now her eyes met Emma’s and whatever protest she had died away when she saw the amber in those brown eyes so much closer than ever before. In their depths was a message: play along.

“No, Emma, it is time our son knows the truth. I am done hiding what I am from the world. And he has all the right in the world to know. We are, after all, his mothers.” With this she reached up on tiptoes and placed a kiss on Emma’s cheek. It was a warm, soft kiss and didn’t feel acted at all. She had a split second to decide. Bail out and tell Henry it was all a joke, or keep acting and enjoy pretending to be with Regina. Even though it made her heartache to think it wasn’t real, Emma made her choice.

“You’re right, babe,” she sighed, wrapping an arm around Regina’s waist and pulling her even closer. Regina complied, though Emma felt the tension running through the brunette from the hand the blonde placed on the small of her back. Emma layered on her sweetest voice possible as she said, “I shouldn’t have tried to deny it. What a silly thing for me to do. Can you forgive me?”

She knew she was taking her chances, but this morning felt like one to be bold. She leaned closer to Regina’s face, which was tilted up towards her own. “That depends,” the brunette murmured, her voice taking on a lustful tone as she also leaned forward. “You’ll have to make it up to me.”

Emma flashed a smile. “That can be arranged.” Her lips were about to touch Regina’s. She could feel the electricity running between them, saw Regina shiver slightly but with what Emma wasn’t sure. Her lips parted slightly, ready to trap Regina’s between them, when a disgusted sound from Henry brought them back to the present.

“Hey! No kissing in front of the child,” he protested, although there was a smile in his voice. Immediately, both women sprung apart. Emma stared at their son guiltily. “But really, Moms, I am proud of you. I can’t wait to tell Gramps and Gran! They’ve been dying to know!”

“How about we don’t tell them just yet?” Emma’s voice was too hopeful. “I’ll give you five bucks not to tell them!” But Henry wasn’t listening. Humming a happy song, he skipped out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Emma stared at Regina and matching expressions of horror on their faces.

_What had they done?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a comment monster. Feed me, I be hungry >:)
> 
> Thank you to Tumblr user @joyfultrouble101 for constantly texting me to tell me to update. There you go bitchacho. Enjoy
> 
> Follow @the-voice-in-dark for swan queen stuff sometimes


	12. A Dance With Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is gonna be getting a new name! I found one I like better! So, instead of Lost (and Found) it's going to be called Of Wolves and Women! It is also up on Fanfiction.net
> 
> Sorry for the wait. In a gloomy place atm and had a hard time writing this. However, here it is!
> 
> Title a snapshot from American Author's Best Day of my Life
> 
> Enjoy my friends!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Still not the owner of any of the characters however much i wish I was genius enough to come up with such great characters.

Over the course of the next few days, Emma didn’t have the heart to leave, nor did Regina have the heart to tell her to go. But a distance was slowly forming between the two of them. If Regina was in the same room as Emma, the blonde managed to find an excuse to leave as soon as she could; if Emma happened to say something idiotic (as was her tendency), Regina found herself snapping with more ferocity than she meant to.

 

The distance between them had less to do with _them_ , and more to do with the awkwardness that surrounded them. The entire town seemed to think Emma and Regina were dating, thanks to Henry telling Snow and Snow’s infuriating inability to keep a secret. Before long, they were avoiding one another in private. Emma would flicker in and out of rooms, as wild and unknown as her wolf. But when Henry was around, everything would change. Hands would find hands, shoulders would brush against each other, lips lightly touched the other’s cheek, head or hand. Laughter would ring out merrily, with hardly any hesitation. Movie nights became a time for Regina to cuddle up to Emma and for Emma to rejoice in the warmth of Regina’s arms. But movie nights always ended.

 

After the credits rolled, after their son had drifted off to bed, after the cameras were turned off, the behind the scenes happened. They would recoil from each other as though the other was burning hot, green eyes would avoid brown eyes, and fumbled excuses were given to be rid of the other’s company. And each time, the pair would leave the set with aching hearts, both afraid to admit, afraid to love.

 

It was the same strange wedge that drove Emma to call Ruby and ask to meet her for lunch at Granny’s. The blonde’s skin crawled with discomfort as the bell on the door chimed her entrance. What felt like thousands of pairs of eyes on her burned holes in her skin. Keeping her head down and her eyes on the floor, she followed her powerful nose to the slight scent of wolf drifting up from the back booth. She only lifted her eyes when she was safely seated across from Ruby; when the diner no longer was as silent as a tomb. The other werewolf chuckled, not moving her eyes up from the ham, eggs and toast on her plate. 

 

“So how does our lovely mayor bang?” The brunette asked, her voice amused and casual.

 

Emma winced. “God, could you not?” She snapped. “I am not screwing Regina.”

 

Red snorted, her eyes flickering up to Emma’s. “Right. And I am not a werewolf.”

 

“Ruby, I am serious.”

 

“And so am I! Look, if you’re not dating her, then why does the whole town think you are?”

 

“Henry... Walked into the room. While I was naked and Regina was in bed.”

 

Emma’s pack-mate burst out laughing, her hazel eyes shining in mirth. “Oh, Emma, you just dug your own grave,” she chuckled. Then her delicate brows dipped into a frown. “Wait, if you didn’t bang Regina, what _were_ you doing naked in her room?” Then something clicked and her face went wide in shock. “Holy shit. You didn’t _bite_ Regina, did you?”

 

“No!” The sheriff shook her head vehemently. “I know I didn’t bite her.”

 

“I am sensing a ‘but’ here.”

 

“But I always wake up from being a wolf in her room.”

 

“Are you kidding me!” Ruby practically exploded, both escalating her voice and nearly jumping out of the booth. Emma gripped her hand hard.

 

“ _Ruby_ —”

 

“Do you understand how dangerous that is? Emma, you gotta get out of there. You’re going to bite one of them. Or—”

 

“Or worse, I know,” Emma finished, emerald eyes blazing. “Don’t think I forgot about Hook.” The bitterness in her voice dried up the words left in Ruby’s mouth. She gaped at Emma, her eyes round and innocent. Emma shook her head. “Look, the thing is—when I try to leave as a wolf, Regina makes me stay.”

 

“Wait what? Is she _trying_ to commit suicide?”

 

“No, she doesn’t physically stop me.” Emma’s voice was as sharp as her jaded eyes. “She’s just... The only thing I remember from this life.”

 

“Oh.” Ruby blinked and ran a hand through her hair. “Wow. When did all of this start?”

 

“The day Henry found me with her was the first time. But there’s more.”

 

“I am listening.”

 

“Okay, so I have shifted three times since that incident. And each time right before, I have a nightmare.”

 

“Go on.”

 

“It always starts the same. In this dream, Henry, Regina and I are sitting down for a movie. I can’t tell which one it is, but everyone is happy. And it isn’t the fake kind of happy that we pretend to be now for Henry, it’s the real kind. The kind of happy where I look up and I know that I have found a home.

 

“Anyways, this movie ends and Henry goes upstairs. It’s just me and Regina. And it’s in that moment that I realize I love her. But then the dream changes and it is like I am waking up from a shift. But I am covered in blood and there’s this horrible scent of death in the air. When I look down, I am lying over someone in the snow. At first, it’s Hook. It’s what I saw as I killed him. But as he lets out his last breath, he becomes Regina. We are back on the couch in her house, Henry is screaming—whether in pain or agony, I don’t know—and in the end, it was Regina who died.”

 

Her voice trailed off and she stared blankly at the table. A waitress came and set a mug of hot cocoa down in front of her that she didn’t remember ordering and then vanished into the background once more. Ruby reached across the table and wiped something warm and liquid off of Emma’s cheek.

 

“Emma, you’re crying.” Her voice was soft, the softest Emma had ever heard it. But these tears surprised her. She never cried in public. This was too much. She shrunk back from Ruby’s touch with a guilty laugh and a shrug, and wiped her tears on her shoulder. The blonde cleared her throat and continued in a stronger voice.

 

“After the dream, I wake up and each time, I am in the middle of a shift. And each time, only one thought remains.”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

“ _Regina_. It’s like the wolf finds her to protect her, or something.” She shook her head and sipped her cocoa.

 

“Em, that’s impossible. Our wolves have an instinctual fear of humans. I’ve seen it in you, and you’ve seen it too. There’s no way in hell your wolf would put a human before herself and your safety.”

 

“I know but honestly, I don’t know what else to think.”

 

Just then, the door dinged and once again everyone fell silent. Emma instinctually felt the energy of the room focused on someone else in the room. One shallow breath in through her nostrils was enough for her to smell Regina’s sharp scent. The blonde swore softly and turned around. Indeed, Regina was standing in the open doorway, her face marred by a gentle frown that perched over orbs of chocolate.

 

“Speak of the devil,” Ruby muttered. Emma shot her an accusatory glare as the diner owner’s granddaughter waved over the mayor. 

 

“Did you set this up?”

 

Ruby snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. Hello, Regina.” Emma stiffened as the woman she was living with sidled up to the booth, her hand resting just behind the blonde’s head.

 

“Ruby. What’s my—” 

 

Emma flinched and shot a hand up to the Latino, making a weird garble in her throat before she stammered out, “D-don’t! Finish. That. Sentence.” Regina scorched Emma with a baffled look which had her flinching. “Ruby knows the truth.”

 

“Of course she does.” Emma frowned as her sensitive ears picked up a waver in Regina’s voice. Was Regina… _Jealous?_ “Miss Swan, if you could refrain from staring at me like that. You appear to be stunned.” Now, her nose picked up a slight tang of unease. Emma shook her head and grabbed Regina’s hand. 

 

“Sit down, before we attract more attention,” she replied in a growl. Unfortunately, Regina chose the spot right next to Emma. The blonde’s whole body instantly went taught and stiff. She hunched herself into the corner, as far from Regina as she could manage. Ruby, on the other hand, observed the unguarded flash of hurt that passed through Regina’s eyes. _What was with these two?_

 

There was an awkward silence that hung over the three of them like a cloud. Regina sifted through a menu while Emma picked at her hot chocolate and Ruby observed them both with pity, thinking, _The poor saps don’t even know they are in love._ But it wasn’t her place to say anything, so she kept her mouth shut. After a few minutes, however, she sighed and broke the tense silence.

 

“So, Belle’s been questioning my disappearance.”

 

This snapped the pair’s attention. Regina observed the werewolf across from her with mild interest, while Emma’s eyes were sharp. “Seriously? You haven’t told her yet? Rubes, you got to tell her at some point!”

 

Now it was Ruby’s turn to sulk, though the drawing of her shoulders was due to self-consciousness. “What if she doesn’t like me as a wolf?”

 

Emma’s eyebrows shot up incredulously. “Seriously? _That’s_ what you’re afraid of? Rubes, that girl is madly in love with you! That kind of love means that she’s going to accept you no matter what. She’s bound to figure out she’s entered a dance with monsters on her own soon enough. It’s better she finds out from you then wondering where you disappear to every winter.”

 

“Well put, Swan, you sound like a real poet.” Regina’s dry voice was like acid to Emma. She winced as her face flushed bright red. Before she could respond to the barb, however, another scent entered her nose.

 

Wolf. 

 

Her head jerked up and she saw Ruby stiffen at the same time. This was a stranger, not part of their pack, his—it was definitely a male—wolf musk almost overpowering the weaker human notes that wafted off of him. The two she-wolves bristled and met stares, each with a fire to protect their territory in their eyes.

 

Regina caught on to the silent conversation the two were having. “What is happening here?”

 

 _Intruder,_ Ruby’s eyes were telling Emma.

 

The blonde dipped her head slightly, a flick of her chin which read, _I follow you._

 

Ruby nodded and swung out of the booth. Emma followed, clambering clumsily over Regina.

 

“ _Excuse_ me, Miss Swan!” Regina snapped, voice high in indignation. It was that noise that startled Emma from the wolfish trance she had entered, part of her new instincts to protect her turf with her leader. She eyed Regina curiously, and in that moment, the former queen observed that the daughter of her nemesis appeared less than a human and more as a wolf. The door chimed again and a wolf-like growl reverberated from Ruby’s chest. Emma’s control on her instincts snapped. Her wolf growled right with Ruby, telling her to protect what was hers.

 

Which is how she ended up pulling Regina from the booth and wrapping her in her arms in a protective way, her heart pounding rapidly against her ribcage. Regina struggled a bit, more out of surprise than dislike, but everyone froze as the wolves locked eyes with the man who entered.

 

At first no one said anything. Then, to Ruby’s and Emma’s surprise, it was Regina who broke the silence.

 

“ _Graham?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love feedback! Have a good day!


	13. The Monster That You See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** PLEASE READ!!!***
> 
> Okay so a few things I need yas to know:  
> 1) There is no magic. Regina created the Dark Curse in the Enchanted Forest, but this the Land Without Magic so no magic.  
> 2) With that being said, yes Graham is in this chapter. Seeing Regina crushed his heart in the first season, using magic, I gave him an alternate destiny.   
> 3) Given that Graham is in this chapter, I just want to warn people that he is ONLY part of the plot. This is a SwanQueen story through and through :)  
> 4) The relationship between Regina and Emma is changing :)  
> 5) EVERYTHING PETER SAYS ABOUT THE WOLF THING IS FICTION! PLEASE DO NOT USE AN EPIPEN UNLESS YOU NEED IT FOR A MEDICAL REASON! This story is a work of fiction. I just needed to warn y'all even though you probs knew this already :)
> 
> Y'all know the disclaimer (I hope)
> 
> Read Maggie Steifvater's Shiver if you would like to know more about the kind of werewolves I am using :)
> 
> THANKS FOR BEING AWESOME READERS GUYS! KEEP BEING YOU!

The man in front of them appeared dazed and confused. At his side stood Peter, grinning triumphantly with his arm wrapped around Graham’s shoulders. To all the regular diners, Peter and Graham looked like best buds. But to the wolves, the gesture was both one of dominance and one to guide.

 

“Peter?” Ruby frowned at the darker haired man. “What’s this?”

 

At the same time, Regina—who had slowly been relaxing into Emma’s arms—suddenly realized where she was and shouldered Emma roughly, forcing the blonde wolf back with a huff. Her steps pointed towards Graham and she hurried forward.

 

“Regina!” Emma caught up and grabbed her hand, stopping her from approaching the former sheriff. “That is _not_ a good idea.”

 

Regina turned her head and locked eyes with Emma. Something flashed in those green depths, something that asked Regina to come back to the booth with her. The mayor flashed another look back at Graham and saw she was right. The day beyond the door was warm, but Graham was shuddering, his eyes dazed and confused, his muscles tense and drawn tight.

 

“What is wrong with him?” She hissed.

 

“What do you think!” Emma snapped in reply, her eyes sparking with emotion as she tugged Regina’s hand, pulling the other woman closer. When Regina was at her side, she wrapped an arm around her waist, a gesture done out of protective instincts more than anything else. The blonde bent her head close to Regina and whispered, “He’s just shifted back.”

 

“Let’s have this conversation in private.” Ruby’s voice was thin, her eyes glittering and unreadable. Her whole body radiated with dominance and Emma knew that the pull of her wolf would not allow her to disobey. As Peter nodded and led Graham further into the diner, Regina drew closer to Emma’s tense body. She felt safe with the blonde despite how uncomfortable she was.

 

Emma herself was torn. Did she leave Regina in the diner and go back to how things were at the house? Or did she make an effort to try to include Regina in her world and hope that maybe that would draw them closer? Ruby met her eyes, saw her dilemma and gave her a small nod. Not an order from an alpha, but encouragement from a friend. Emma sighed and turned to Regina, offering the confused older woman a small smile. She let go of their hands and took a step back, her hand still outstretched.

 

“You know about us,” she said, her voice low and rumbling. “You’re a part of this world now. Would you like to join us?”

 

Regina hesitated, thinking about all the paperwork she had left to do at the town hall and how she would like nothing more than to join Emma in her world. She brought out her phone, eyes never leaving Emma’s as she dialed a number.

 

“Cancel my afternoon,” was all she said to her secretary on the other end. She snapped shut the phone and watched the blonde’s beautiful smile grace her face, lighting up everything about her. Regina slipped her phone away and accepted Emma’s hand, bathing in the warm joy that followed an unguarded interaction with the woman who had been so distant lately.

 

Together, they followed Graham, Peter and Ruby into the back of Granny’s.

 

***

 

They ended up putting Graham on the bed that Emma had used when she first started changing. The large man sat curled on the bed, his shoulders drawn and his whole body shuddering, even with the two space heaters directed on him and a fire roaring in the fireplace, thanks to Ruby. The wolves were scattered around the room; Ruby dominated the space by the fireplace, her eyes lighting up almost yellow due to the golden hue let off by the flickering tongues of flame; Emma stood by the door, her body radiating uneasy energy as she frowned at the man; Peter stood at the foot of the bed, playing with the corroding iron footboard. Regina, well aware that she was the only human in the room and that Emma would let no harm come to her, was perched on the bed beside Graham, her hand gently caressing his rough cheek. 

 

Jealousy was eating away at Emma but she forced it down to simmer in her stomach. Regina wasn’t her girlfriend and she knew that there was a history between the two of them. He had been there for Regina to help her with Henry and to help alleviate some of the stresses of being mayor. It had broken her already fractured heart when he had disappeared, leaving no trace as to where he had gone.

 

“We have no time to waste.” Ruby’s voice was low and urgent. “Peter, what did you use?”

 

The dark haired wolf pulled a small notebook out of the pocket of his dark jeans and handed it to Ruby. “I’ve been fiddling around with some things at work. I’m pretty sure whatever makes us shift is based on the receptors in our brains that control reactions to things.”

 

“So how do you trigger them?” Ruby asked, flipping through the pages of the notebook.

 

“Well there are a number of different ways to trigger them,” his voice was rushed and excited and he grabbed the notebook back, flipping through a few pages. “Sex, fear, exercise, pain, stress, you name it. What they do is they suppress or prompt signals to nearby neurons. Throw temperature fluctuations into the mix and your body prompts a new reaction. What happens when you’re cold?”

 

“You shiver,” Regina replied automatically. Everyone in the room was swept up by the excited rant Peter was on. He pointed at the mayor and clapped.

 

“Bingo! You shiver. But, what if the wolf in us causes these receptors to block the neurons that cause shivering and prompt the neurons that—with the mixture from the wolf DNA in our bodies—trigger the shift?”

 

Ruby and Emma exchanged looks. Peter pressed on relentlessly.

 

“So, I have been experimenting. First with just the cold and then with other things thrown in too. But I found that with just the cold, it didn’t trigger a shift. It got me to the point where a shift _could_ be triggered, but I needed one last push. So, I threw in a little adrenaline. At first, exercise and the natural triggers of adrenaline produced small changes, but I needed something else. I needed adrenaline in it’s pure form.” He pulled out an EpiPen from his pocket. “Epinephrine is just that. Pure adrenaline.”

 

“How did you obtain that?” Emma asked, eyebrow lifted in disbelief, hands crossed over her chest.

 

“Long story. But anyways! The addition of this pure adrenaline caused a shift. It wasn’t a very long shift, just until my heart rate slowed back down, but I think that if I had been in temperatures below freezing, I would have stayed a wolf. And I believe that when new wolves are created, it’s the adrenaline that makes them unstable. If the cold was the sole trigger for a shift, then there would be no grey area. The new wolves wouldn’t be shifting back and forth all the time.”

 

“Interesting, but I don’t see how any of this has to do with Graham.” All eyes turned to Regina, who sat with the shuddering man leaning heavily on her shoulder. Emma bit back a growl and stared at the ground, cursing her heart for stinging.

 

“Graham, tell your lady friend where you’ve been for the last five years!”

 

The man in question took a gulp and sat himself up. His green eyes looked around the group with a tired air and sweat dampened his mouse colored hair to his forehead. Emma glanced up and realized that this heat was all that was keeping him human. And that it was barely enough.

 

“In the woods,” he gasped, his deep, accented voice wavering from lack of use. “I’ve been a wolf for five years, living in the woods amongst a pack of my own.”

 

“I baited a live trap in the woods with Benadryl and some ground beef and caught quite a few wolves before I finally caught the one I was looking for.”

 

“How did you know it was him?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed in curiosity.

 

“He was the only one with human eyes. Our eyes are the only things we get to keep when the human in us flees for good.” Ruby shot Peter a warning look that Emma caught.

 

“What!” Emma stared first at Graham and then at Ruby. “When was the last time you were human?”

 

Graham locked eyes with her, the sad look confirming her fears. “The last time I was human was the last time we spoke in the sheriff’s station. When I remembered my old life.”

 

She remembered it all too clearly. Him clean in a wound on her forehead, her wishing for something beyond her lonely existence. She had kissed him, wondering if he could make her happy, and he had told her that he remembered. She knew she had never loved him, not the way Regina did, but it still hurt when he walked away, out into the cold night. He never came back.

 

Emma glared at Ruby, her jaw dropping. The brunette didn’t look up at her.

 

“Is there something you aren’t telling me, Red?” She hissed, teeth gritted, anger building.

 

“We are looking for a cure,” Ruby replied, meeting Emma’s eyes calmly.

 

“A cure for _what_? Why doesn’t Graham shift? Tell me!”

 

“Emma, perhaps you should calm down.” This was Regina, getting up from where she sat beside Graham and approaching the blonde with her her hands out.

 

Emma shrunk away from the contact and took a step towards Ruby. “What aren’t you telling me?”

 

“Emma—” This time was Ruby, looking helpless.

 

“ _Stop saying my name!_ ” Emma’s voice was a snarl, her face contorted in confusion, pain and betrayal. Ruby looked at Peter, silently asking for help. Regina made her way over to Emma, not touching her, not in her personal space, just close enough for her calm aura to sooth the emotionally unbalanced werewolf. She could see the blonde trembling in rage. “I want to know. When I die, am I going to be a wolf?”

 

Regina flinched at the question, but Ruby stayed silent. Her sad glance confirmed it for Emma, who immediately went still as a statue.

 

The room fell silent as Emma and Ruby had a stare down. Finally, in a voice that carried all the rage and hurt the blonde felt, she uttered one word: “When.”

 

“I don’t know,” Ruby replied honestly.

 

“That’s not good enough.”

 

“It’s different for every wolf. We each have an expiry date for shifting and there isn’t anything we can do about it. Yet. That’s why we are experimenting. Each time we shift, the human comes later and later. And wolf comes earlier every year.”

 

“That’s why you girls need to continue the research when I am gone,” Peter said, his voice suddenly solemn. “This is my last summer. Graham’s a sign that there is a cure, but you two need to find it.”

 

Ruby flinched and Emma shook her head, eyes on fire. “I don’t fucking believe it.”

 

The brunette she-wolf bristled. “Well this is just the way life is, Emma! You just have to live with it.”

 

This snapped the blonde’s resolve. “ _I didn’t ask for this_!” Her voice rang out sharply, loudly, echoing the pain she felt. “I didn’t ask for any of this! This is all your fault!”

 

Then she turned, ripped open the door, stalked out and slammed it shut behind her. Regina’s knees almost gave out. Her hand found its way to her chest and she clenched it there. She just got Emma back, and now she was going to lose her. Not just for the winter, but for life too.

 

The only sounds left in the room were the moans and groans of Graham, who slowly became a wolf before their eyes.

 


End file.
